Crystal Gaze ( F P C D )
at 2008-02-21
Over all, this was a beautiful poem. It seemed you were speaking words from your heart.Though the flow was a little choppy, and the rhymes seemed forced, this poem was still well written.
Keep it up.
--Elaine.
Deana ( F P C D )
at 2009-10-11
The sincerity comes through in this piece, Love can be very painful and you showed that pain with your words.
KayJay RTVW ( F C D )
at 2010-01-05
I agree with Crystal Gaze. You did an amazing job with the voice in this poem. Though the flow was a little rough. I would say that you shouldn't focus so much on the rhyme, more on the emotion.
But overall, great write.
KayJay RTVW ( F C D )
at 2010-01-05
This was a very beautiful write. I would have to agree with Crystal Gaze when it comes to the flow though. It seems as if you were trying so hard to get the rhyme, that you interrupted the flow. But the voice was heard as I was reading, which is always good.
Overall, great job.
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