BANGBANG ( F C D )
at 2008-03-13
And sometimes your eyes gotta rain to learn.
NICE METAPHOR FOR CRYING IAN!
this is a sweet poem ian. but i really couldn't help laughing at 'pigeons'.
and i sang to pigeons sitting outside on the window sill
I'M SORRY. i just love piggy ons!
xxxxx
BANGBANG ( F C D )
at 2008-03-13
!
everybody does love pigeons!
how are you ian. are you alright. yes. yes you are! the thing that's making you seeth and fume is me commenting all your poems with my rambling. soz!
BANGBANG ( F C D )
at 2008-03-13
Iiiiiiiiiii'm okay other than an outrageous stomach ache. and i'm glad you like them, because everyone else usually takes one look and is sick all over their keyboards!
Pamela ( C D )
at 2008-03-14
I dont' know what to say, Jess kinda summed it up.
Although I really loved the "you eyes gotta rain to learn" part it was just I don't know I'm probably gonna have to start saying that in my regular life convos. Cause it just sounds great. This poem just kinda brought me in like a good sad movie ya know. I dont' know how to explain it. Nice job though!
Britt ( F C D )
at 2008-03-14
Holy moses..
Okay. You totally outdid yourself on this one.
"*so, people love and they hate and i guess it's just our turn to hate. yeah, you were just some song i wrote- a poem on a page. "
I LOVE your little prolouges on some of your poetry. It excites me in a weird way [NO..not THAT way]. I love that little catch phrase "a poem on a page"...I guess only people who write poetry are really connecting with that particular line...I read it to a friend and she was confused. Lmao.
"At one point i convinced myself it was all dollars
but then i learned that change had more intent."
As usual I am never quite sure -what- exactly you are meaning here, but if you ever were to tell me I think that would ruin the whole point of reading your poetry. This is just so incredibly breathtaking and such a powerful way to start something.
"you poured me blue tea inside of green tea cups
knowing that i grew up with sleepy on my eyes,
then the change in colour set a change in taste
and yeah i grew up trying to learn how not to fly."
WHAT is with you and blue&green? Please do tell. I love this set I picked out, though and I think it flows together so incredibly well. I had such a remarkable image in my head, and it's so vivid, like I'm right there, watching you drink this tea. But I know there is so much more to this story and I know how much more feeling is sinking in..the more and more I comment, the more and more I realize what these lines mean to me, and how emotional they make me.
"it's not easy being dreamy, and i guess that hurts
and sometimes your eyes gotta rain to learn."
I love the easy way this reads. And I love how you used something SO horribly cliche [rain/tears] and made it SO horribly not.
"and i'm walking down the halls like i even have a reason"
I did this at work today. HAHAHA. I said something SO similar. "I'm walking down here like I have a reason". Bwaha. Way to be in my head!
"i'd be lying if i said that i didnt miss you and i wont
because i know you liked honesty over your head"
The way this is said is almost defacing. "I know you liked honesty over your head"...it's almost as though it's a bad thing in a good way. If that makes any sense.
"and do you remember how i always tried to buy you
those floral print curtains you said you didnt hate?
well, i know you lied about liking them for my benefit
so i guess we've got the wrong idea about touching face."
This is quite possibly my favorite. This is what a feeling and emotion does to you. You have overwhelmed my soul with your words today, but I think I'll take that. Theres a certain sort of magic to your words that spark my eyes..I hate that I always praise you, because I know you'll eventually get a big head about it..maybe. Lol.
Ew. Take out pigeons. You ruined the WHOLE effect...dskjgh. Pigeons poop on people. LOL
"because i knew singing to you wasnt any choice"
It's not that it isn't a choice..but is it a fear? I love this about your writing [do I repeat myself? I think so]...I never EVER know if you mean what you say or say what you mean. But I love what I can come out with...and I love how I can relate to your poetry on such an intimate level and it never feel creepy or weird...It's almost as though you sift through the journals of my mind and easily write my story. Whats even more weird, is you hardly know whats going on with me anymore, so you couldn't possibly EVER get inspiration from me. Lol
"but you heard me clear as day and i guess that awoke you,
and it always confused me that that made you so sad"
sjdghsdg. I LOVE THIS. Ian..ohmigod..
That last line is so incredibly sad and touching and marvelous and lovely and..I'm running out of adjectives off the top of my head. I understand the sadness..and I think thats what makes me sad.
"you slept to give the chance of love a little less than you had. "
Beautifully heartbreaking.
&& I love, love the rhyming scheme at the very end of the poem. Didn't notice if you had it throughout the whole thing or not, but I know you had it at the ending and it was just brilliant.
I also love how you brought back the stains etc and used, AGAIN, blue and green. You know..it makes me feel like those stains were from a fight the night before, hence the sleeping...and sleepy eyes...and the tea cup was just shattered into pieces.
Look at me trying to analyze. Like that'll ever work. LOL.
Beautiful. I so wasn't in tune with the last one I read..but this one made up for it, and so much more. This is strategically beautiful.
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