Comments

frenchboys ( D ) at 2008-03-14

I KNOW YOU'RE PROBABLY SICK OF ME COMMENTING YOUR POEMS. but this one is definitely my favourite of yours recently. i absolutely love it.

i just realised i'm on my other account :|
-lucyyyyy

Britt ( F C D ) at 2008-03-14

Oh my heavens.

I don't have the time to write a proper comment...for it'll be the biggest book..EVER.

So remind me to come back to this this weekend..and I will.

Tammie ( F P C D ) at 2008-03-14

This brought tears to my eyes . Your poetry always has different affects on me, I love that about it.

I read this over and over again. As I do with most of your pieces, and I love how I can get whatever I want out of your metaphors and seemingly crazy sentances.

I love it. Keep them coming. :]

Britt ( F C D ) at 2008-03-15

“And i heard you were going blonde now for the summer”

I always usually go blonde for the summer time. How cliche of you..lmao

“or maybe it was just the fact you wore that winter coat,
that had the stench of sex and blood and maybe even my name.”

A little curious here as to what blood is doing on a sex-smelling winter coat, but who am I to judge? Haha. I love this. It brings a sense of the past into everything, and it’s just very....real, in your face sort of thing.

“i dug my teeth into my knees and i told myself i was ready
but i know that i can't begin to make up for disappointed time
when it all seems like everything is just too grey for my liking;”

I LOVE these lines. They just...good grief. They’re magic! I love how you put such a spin on everything, and brought such a sad tone to the piece. You admitted when something is wrong, and thats not often something seen in your poetry. Not something thats so obvious, anyhow.

“dont tell me you've ran out on the thought that maybe
you could bring yourself to see the things that you said i see.”

Sdjkghgsd. I LOVE LOVE LOOOVE THIS. It’s a little hard to read out loud and really trips up for me when I try to say it, but other than that I just love the tone, the meaning, the string of words you’ve so perfectly put together. This is just incredible. It sounds so defeating...if that is even a word. Like you’ve allowed someone to give up all the hope they had been carrying on for such a long time...and thats when you realize it’s all downhill.

“you were like my eyes in the back of my head just to warn us
that there was so much to learn and so much more we could be”

Now you bring the hope and great memory back into it...your poetry is almost like a time travel, and I love that. It’s sometimes hard to keep up, but the past and present mixed into one the way you do it is so refreshing and unique..I love it.

“and i guess he doesnt kiss that spot on your neck like i used to?
and there's that spot below your stomach where i rest my head,
telling you it was perfect and somehow i think you always knew.”

This changed the entire poem around for me...this is the pivotal turning point that I do believe was perfectly placed. This is so beautifully sad and touching. It reminds me of a dream I had this morning that has been haunting me. I don’t understand how you are so easily able to connect with my emotions throughout your poetry. No other writer has ever been able to affect me the way you do.

“you can tell my hair isnt parted in just quite the same way
all because i miss the way you used to fix it up by yourself.
and it doesnt seem fair to me to to have to go back to habit
where i was flipping it from my face because i hate the way it felt.”

Dskghg. Thats one thing I’ve always hated about relationships. The little things you get used to, and when the relationship is over...it’s the one thing you miss more than anything...and the one thing you think about so much. I easily do it to this day, as I’m sure a lot of people do. It drives you crazy to think about it and compare. Ohh how it drives me absolutely nuts.

“miss sharing those sex and cigarettes with you in the morning,
while you laughed at me eyeing your rusted necklace clasp.
part of me hopes you still keep that right beside you because
i really meant to tell you that i bought that with 7 weeks rent”

I still don’t understand the whole cigarettes after sex thing. Maybe it’s a guy-thing, maybe not. Who knows. But I still don’t get it. Lol. 7 weeks rent on a necklace. Oh that just sounds beautiful and expensive. Lol. But the fact that you want her to keep it next to her and the way you convey it all is so beautiful and heartbreaking. Your poetry this morning is bringing me back to my past, and I don’t think that is good waters to be traipsing around through..

“now, i know that your machine says "night out with gene"
but that doesnt mean i cant still tell you wished it said my name.”

Oh.
My.
Lord.

This.Is.Remarkable.

Ian...I cannot truly describe to you the ending. You’ve brought me to something so dark and deep within myself and I don’t think I ever really realized it until right this instant.

I love that ending. The ending made the entire poem in my opinion. It was beautifully sad. It’s so nice to know that a guy can really have feelings...I’ve been lacking that department in my selections.

Overall, I love your work. Nothing new. I shouldn’t even have to comment half the time, because not only do I say the same things practically, you have to know what the hell is going through my head. Lol. This is perfect.

[ Praised by : Prophecies In Kodak ]

Ironic Allure ( F P C D ) at 2008-03-16

^ she wants your ass, boy.

Teria Leeann ( F P C D ) at 2008-03-18

Honestly, I don't know what to say. . .
I really, truly love this poem - it's great in so many ways. I don't think it's your best, but I think it's up there, ya know?

There's not much critism needed on it. . . lol, I was wondering in the end if you're meaning that SHE wishes it was your name on there. . . or YOU wish it was your name on there. . . I kinda got confused with that, because I read it wrong the first time, lol.

Teria Leeann ( F P C D ) at 2008-03-18

OH YEAH.
I forgot something. . .

well, minus me getting confused on the last line.

i loved how you took the ending and like, made it like complete. like, it proved you weren't just going on about some chick - that you like miss her and it's all depressing in a guy sorta way . . .

if that makes sense.

Espoirfailed ( F P C D ) at 2008-03-23

I read this poem because i recognised the title from a bright eyes song and i love his work.

i found this poem absolutely amazing. the images and intricate (almost minamilist/ dirty realist) details were perfect. you create an atmosphere in this poem that is portrayed excellently and i don't think i could honestly criticise a thing.

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