Comments - Digital Ghost

Another Broken Record ( F P C D ) at 2008-04-27

ALRIGHTY.

this poem is like..amazing, first of all. Like Britt-o said, it is chilling. and so sad...it's horrible how sometimes all we have left is a memory..

just a digital camera remains
holding our precious photographs
reminiscing of what we once had
never again to be experienced

^^ instead of photographs here, you could use memories? that would sound good, and we wouldn't use the same word again...or you could even use, "holding our precious dreams" use an abstract noun that is associated w/ pictures..

tears still flow when thoughts of you appear
stains forever left where a smile once stood
this broken heart has never mended
unable to forget about love so true

^^ i love this stanza so much, sherry. it's sad, but utterly beautiful and unforgetable..

looked through some old photographs today
just to catch a glimpse of your loving face
memories have become a haunting past
all happiness has forever passed

^^ you could almost reuse photographs here, because it's repetitive of the first stanza. which ties it all together.


this poem is wonderful sherry..i'm sorry...*hugs*

5.5

[ Praised by Nix | Approved by Sherry Lynn ]

DarkSpirit ( F C D ) at 2008-04-27

You expressed emotions on a good way. I think that you described your feelings greatly, though you could use more creative words, you still managed to portray your message on a strong way.
Repetition of first stanza didn't left too big impression on me, you on a nice way put a tone of circle which isn't over there but it personally didn't impressed me too much cause I expected some powerful thought for the ending line.
I think that this poem could have even more effective rhythm if you used some punctuation. Anyway overall I truly enjoyed in this piece. First lines didn't pulled me in this poem too much. Second stanza is fantastic. That was my favorite part of the poem, you wrote it excellently and said so much with little words, truly great stanza.
Bravo!

[ Praised by Sherry Lynn | Approved by Sherry Lynn ]

Dominique Beard ( F C D ) at 2008-04-27

This poem has a very strong emotion and you stuck with that emotion! You kept your message very real and that's what makes other poets wanna keep reading not the rhyimg or wording it's the message your tryingto petray! good job 5/5

Ann Marie ( F C D ) at 2008-04-27

Oh how sad!! I love the repeated stanza, although, I might have reversed the lines to put a slightly different emphasis on them.

"just a digital camera remains
holding precious broken dreams"
^^ what a heart-breaking image. The fact that it's a digital camera adds so much to it. These dreams could so easily be deleted whether accidentally or on purpose.

You have such an amazing way of packing so much emotion into your words.

Great work, Sher!

[ Praised by Sherry Lynn | Approved by PnQ Mod Account ]

Melpomene ( F P C D ) at 2008-04-28

Sher, This piece was absolutely beautiful. I really don't know what to say to you..

I'm speechless. Quite shocked.

You definitly played with my emotions throughout this piece. You grasped onto my heart and made it bleed for you.

Your a beautiful lady, I know you've been through alot. You deserve the world.

I'm sorry for the pain you have gone through in your life, though atleast it helps you to create such heart wrenching and gorgeous poetry.

Thankyou for sharing this piece.

~Mel

[ Praised by Sherry Lynn | Approved by Sherry Lynn ]

noha ( F P C D ) at 2008-04-28

I enjoy my reading,its sad and full of feeling,digital ghost scare me,as i get beck my photographes,all my memories come out ,and so sad i'm now,its hard to got this feeling and you write it in beautiful way,
thanks to share us this beautiful poem and thanks for your comment on mine,well done and less i can do is 5/5

Cayce ( F P C D ) at 2008-04-28

First of all, the title really caught my attention so I just had to read it. I'm really not into love poems [sad or happy], because I feel like people just say the same thing over and over, but this one was so unique and personal. You thought outside the box and worded things in a way that basically hypnotizes the reader [or at least that's what happened to me].

Looked through some old photographs today
just to catch a glimpse of your loving face
memories have become a haunting past
all happiness has forever passed

^^ I loved the imagery here. I could see these old yellow photographs with someone happy and laughing in them. It gives off bittersweet emotions.. You want to smile and cry at the same time. I also liked how you repeated it for the last stanza.

This is one of the few love poems that I absolutely love. Amazing job!

Keep writing!
Cayce

[ Praised by Sherry Lynn | Approved by Sherry Lynn ]

IM sUCh a MiStAkE ( F C D ) at 2008-04-28

Awsome poem... this has happened to me before and it reminded me alot of it. but this poem is very lovely lol ^_^

p.s. keep it up your doing awsome

Paralyzed ( F P C D ) at 2008-04-28

Stains forever left where a smile once stood
this broken heart has never mended

these are my favorite lines, I think you did a really nice job with this piece and I like how you repeat your opening stanza, though I am not sure I like the past & passed together.

I thought the sadness behind it was very real and easy to relate to, all in all it was a very enjoyable read, great work.

[ Praised by Sherry Lynn | Approved by PnQ Mod Account ]

Mr Thirsty Straw at 2008-04-28

This is a really relatable poem. Nice job.

Patrick Murphy ( F P C D ) at 2008-04-28

Great work great work.

You grabbed
You drove
You taught
You left

Great work i loved it no complaints keep it up
Ill vote for you on this contest too!

Italian Stallion ( F P C D ) at 2008-04-29

What a lovely write. The imagery was outstanding. The flow of the poem was good, but could of been better with some puncuation. I can't stress it enough, puncuation is a big part of making it flow better as well the overall structure (which in your case is good except for the fact you have no puncuation)

``````````

Looked through some old photographs today
just to catch a glimpse of your loving face
memories have become a haunting past
all happiness has forever passed

^^I really liked this stanza, for it is a great opener for the poem. The imagery is very vivid and so many can relate, I know I sure did when I read this stanza, it made me want to keep on reading.

``````````

just a digital camera remains
holding precious broken dreams
reminiscing of what we once had
never again to be experienced

^^I thought this stanza was good, and had a nice flow to it, but I felt it was a little choppy with the last line. Digital camera, you deff. brought it to a new level with technology, I was visualizing the photos to be actual photos on paper.

``````````

tears still flow when thoughts of you appear
stains forever left where a smile once stood
this broken heart has never mended
unable to forget about love so true

^^Ok, as I stated above, puncuation is a must (at least in my eyes it is) So for example:

Tears still flow when thoughts of you appear.
Stains forever left where a smile once stood.
This broken heart has never mended,
unable to forget about love so true.

``````````

looked through some old photographs today
just to catch a glimpse of your loving face
memories have become a haunting past
all happiness has forever passed

^^I liked the reputition of the first stanza and the last. This was a nice way to end the poem, it gave it a nice close and a refreshed view of the first stanza. Reputition is a great tool and I liked what you did with it.

``````````

Overall, wonderful write, keep up the great work.

Peace, Joe

[ Praised by Sherry Lynn | Approved by Italian Stallion ]

Miu ( F P C D ) at 2008-04-30

Beautiful. I really loved how you took little something that went through you that day and turned it such a markable poem.
Specialy loved reputition of the first and the last verse. Made whole poem stronger.
Also, it is incredible how well you can connect with the reader. It's like almost I can what mood you were in when you wrote this piece.

Brilliant. 5/5

paulsingh2005 at 2008-04-30

It is a very sad thing when a realationship breaks apart.The sadness and emotional pain that follows seems to flow without end.
But thank god for the little keepsakes of the heart, even if only in the form of a picture, it helps to keep a little part of our heart smiling.

Just a digital camera remains
holding precious broken dreams
reminiscing of what we once had
never again to be experienced.

This stanza has gripped my heart for i'm experiencing the same thing you have talked about here..
take care.an ejoyable read.
paul

[ Praised by Sherry Lynn | Approved by Sherry Lynn ]

Concealing Words ( F C ) at 2008-05-02

Great job with this poem. You allowed the readers to really feel the emotion that was put into this poem. A lot of people can relate to it and make seem as if the words were their own. keep it up, I gave you a five

Mike Hoover at 2008-05-03

I had a LOVE that I let go. This poem speaks right to my heart. I live this poem each and every day in my mind and in my heart. I don't have the pics other than the ones in my mind. Even though the vision is fading over time. The love will always remain. It will be my lifes last refrain. As I remember closing the door, I will love her for ever more.

waiting for him ( F P C D ) at 2008-05-03

This was really good!...good job!!!!!
Aly

Cindy ( F P C D ) at 2008-05-05

Congrats on the win :)

Cindy ( F P C D ) at 2008-05-05

Congrats on the win :)
Take Care Cindy

debbylyn ( F P C D ) at 2008-05-05

Congrats Sherry! Love the title.......loss of relationships are so hard...and the remnants forever linger in those well preserved digital ghosts that can forever haunt us! Well deserved win!


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