Healing Spirit tpfka Broker ( F P C D )
at 2008-05-17
Beautiful, Cindy!
Your poem made me smile from ear to ear, it has such a gentle touch to it:))
Thanks so much for sharing, sweetheart!
Love, Ingrid
End Of Eternity ( F P C D )
at 2008-05-17
Night breeze carries you my love
Bright moonbeams in your hair
what a great start of such a lovely poem, seems as such a tough pattern but still made it look so simple with such smooth flow, only you could do this magic.
Sleeping tucked within your heart
Dreaming safely away from harm
good night my dear, thats how i want you to take rest and sleep.
Loved every inch of this poem.
all the best and take care
[ Praised by : Cindy ]
Luanne ( F P C D )
at 2008-05-17
Aching for your loving touch
Cradling warmth, embracing arms
Sleeping tucked within your heart
Dreaming safely away from harm
^^^
Cindy ... this part just brings a tear to my eye. It's just so beautifully penned from the heart.
Sleeping tucked within your heart <---- the imagery in this line just melts my heart.
You have done a wonderful piece with this form Cindy. I can't even seem to begin mine ... Well tomorrow is a new day, perhaps a rhyme shall come ... lol
Excellent read as always my friend
Luanne
[ Praised by : debbylyn ]
Anna Stephens ( F P C D )
at 2008-05-17
This is truly a beautiful poem, Cindy, and you did a wonderful job with this form. I, on the other hand, am still struggling to edit "Remember Me" and am so frustrated I could scream. As you've probably noticed, rhyme is not exactly my thing. LMAO
Great job, my friend.
Take care of yourself
Anna
paulsingh2005 ( F C )
at 2008-05-17
Cindy you have penned a beautiful poem here that warms the heart of all who reads it.It is known from long that no style or form of writing seems to elude your most tallented mind.
Aching for your loving touch
cradling warmth, embracing arms
sleeping tucked within your heart
dreaming safely away from harm
Beautiful and heartfelt words in thses few lines..Keep up the great work my friend.An enjoyable read.............................paul
[ Praised by : debbylyn ]
debbylyn ( F P C D )
at 2008-05-17
You did an amazing job writing this Lento. The emotions carried in this piece are very moving. I can feel the longing for your love between the lines! You aced this form! The rhyming is great and the flow perfect! Sweet and romantic....Nicely done....
[ Praised by : Cindy ]
billy rob ( F P C D )
at 2008-05-18
"Firelight kisses, waiting lips
Unite two souls, answered prayers"
How you have evolved, my dear friend. To write a piece like this in such a rigid structure is simply beyond my talent. This was an excellent write. Well done. Very well done, indeed. Billy Rob
[ Praised by : Cindy ]
Rachel ( F P C D )
at 2008-05-18
^Night breeze carries you my love
Bright moonbeams in your hair
Firelight kisses, waiting lips
Unite two souls, answered prayers^
Beautiful imagery in this stanza.
^Aching for your loving touch
Cradling warmth, embracing arms
Sleeping tucked within your heart
Dreaming safely away from harm^
Good flow throughout the piece. Nice way to end it. Grea job on the form!
[ Praised by : debbylyn ]
Danny ( F P C D )
at 2008-05-18
Looks more like a tutorial. I would lose the description because it makes the reader look at the description more than the poetry in my opinion. I love it though. Great poem.
Dixiedaisy ( F P C D )
at 2008-05-19
Cindy,
Dear I am so proud of you and the evolvement from the death perspective. I know this was hard to write and I commend you on a perfect subject and write. You dear are truly growing in each and every write you spill upon pages. I am proud of the fact the genre changed from the waiting death to the love embraced. You have done a fantastic job on the form, I envy the fact you so flawlessly have perfected this. I suppose it's in yalls genes to deliver such beautiful works.
Great Job dear friend. Thank you for sharing.
Love ,
Kay
[ Praised by : Cindy ]
Musicality ( F P C D )
at 2008-05-20
Night breeze carries you my love
^Carries them where? Where is the imagery I love seeing from you Cindy?
Bright moonbeams in your hair
^I'll let this line slide..
Firelight kisses, waiting lips
^Waiting lips? waiting doesn't seem to be the right words for firelight kisses. This line lacks some feeling, I mean are they just sitting there puckering?
Unite two souls, answered prayers
^ The united souls have their prayes answered, but in what ways have their prayers been answered. I know the lento is short and sweet usually, but some specifics would be lovely.
Aching for your loving touch
^this is more like it
Cradling warmth, embracing arms
^I'm fairly sure cradling doesn't rhyme wholly with aching. Why are you using end rhymes- this has much more potential than a one syllable rhymer
Sleeping tucked within your heart
^again, one syllable rhyming.
Dreaming safely away from harm
^ Dreaming safely? how does one dream safely? re order or rephrase the words please!
Just please take a look at some words and give me some imagery and emotion that I can feel Cindy. Much love and hugs,
Megs
[ Praised by : SnoWryTeR xiaoDan ]
Alone ( F P C D )
at 2008-05-31
Such a romantic... poem you have expressed. how good and romantic can be love.. after reading this i can imagine alot...
this poem brought me very far inside me...
this poem brought me the last corner of my heart. where there was a small corner. where i locked my lovely moments that i spend with her.. once again you made all those love memories awake..
i know i should feel happy that i had those memories... but somewhere in my heart there is emtyness. and maybe that was she.
so just want to say you this kind of poem is new for me... i will also try to right a lento.
howp i will write well but im sure i cannot be good as you are..
wonderfull piece of work..
you got 5
[ Praised by : Cindy ]
Romantic Lover ( F P C D )
at 2008-06-11
Wow, that was beautiful and a style that I'm not familiar with.
It was wonderfully written.
Angel From The Nightmare ( F P C D )
at 2008-06-27
I tried a lento but it didn't come out quite right. This is a perfect example for one. I love the words from first to last. Great work.
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