NinjaGirl ( F P C D )
at 2008-05-21
Such a marvelously beautiful piece of poetry, it flowed brilliantly and the rhyme was fantastic!
Mists of illusions on stars that time alone shall clear
And all her dreams will no more be a haze of losing fear
Him, she knows is real and Love, she can best define
Love is in her veins; there flows a stream divine.
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
this would have to be my favourite stanza, it just stood out so well from the rest.
a magnificent write! 5/5
Keep Writing, lovely
As Always,
~NinjaGirl~
Sourav ( F P C D )
at 2008-05-23
Lines are very powerful and well written. A well described and expressed piece of writing. Well done!
Goth marionette ( F P C D )
at 2008-05-23
Mists of illusions on stars that time alone shall clear
And all her dreams will no more be a haze of losing fear
Him, she knows is real and Love, she can best define
Love is in her veins; there flows a stream divine.
M fav stanza..
Ur poem is really simple and wonderful..I did like it so much...keep it up5/5
Thx fr ur nice comment..
Tom Swart ( F P C )
at 2008-05-23
Wow what more could I add to this except I liked it and read each word. You have penned just the right words and found the exact emotions to make the flow and feelings just right. I will be back for more. peace
faria
at 2008-05-23
OMG...
sucha beautiful piece
of poetry
loved every line...
every word...
keep it upp...
Aureus Argentum ( F C D )
at 2008-05-24
This is good. :) I enjoyed reading it. 5/5
Rachel ( F P C D )
at 2008-05-25
^Love is in her veins; there flows a stream divine^
Good start, catchy phrase, nice word choice!
^Two crystal balls behold a face where hearts entwine^
This line is a forced rhyme and does not flow well.
^Traces of him in clouds to paint^
This doesn't really make sense to me not even metaphorically.
^Rainbows all over, in the air his scent.^
Here you changed to the use of improper grammar fro the forced rhyme.
^Arms outstretched through rain every tear confine^
Fragmented sentences, throws off the flow and again this is an example of where you have done this to force the rhyme.
^It's him that sprouts a dawn of hope to breathe
Those thoughts of him again to inhale exhale.^
This doesn't make sense, lacks flow and creativity.
^Years have gone by since, still gazing at times mirror
Thinking, was her prince real or was it a fatal error^
Again, forced rhyming!
Basically, you had a good idea, you just need to put more time into this piece, remove your filler words and change some things so your forced rhyming is not so obvious and consistent.
[ Praised by : debbylyn ]
faria
at 2008-05-26
This poemm..iss
soo..gooddd
i cant stopp...readinn
it...lol
and..itz then 2nd time..iv commentedd...
goshh..
ull become something..bigg
with big brainz like..that..xxx
June ( F P C )
at 2008-06-02
Your love poems are always so beautifully done...this one was so touching...very well done.
noha ( F P C D )
at 2008-06-03
Beautiful poem and i realy enjoy reading,you got special talent you should keep work on it,nice flow and full of love feeling well done 5/5
Biya ( F P C )
at 2008-06-09
Arms outstretched through rain every tear confine
Love is in her veins; there flows a stream divine
It's him that sprouts a dawn of hope to breathe
Those thoughts of him again to inhale exhale.
Him, she knows is real and Love, she can best define
Love is in her veins; there flows a stream divine.
Lovely , I liked this poem
5/5
Biya
linkhorizon ( C )
at 2008-08-11
Holy magical jesus! that was breathtakingly beautiful. i'm just about speechless now. this one is definitely going to enchase my mind. brilliantly penned. 5/5 :)
Emma ( P )
at 2008-08-23
I love the repetition of the line 'Love is in her veins; there flows a stream divine' - your poetry is excellent! xxxx
Marc Ortiz ( F P C D )
at 2008-10-05
It's a masterpiece Karan. The structure, and rhyming of this poem is excellent. Flow went well too. Everything is perfect.
Can I ask what type of poetry is this? I think I've read this structure before.
*Suggestion - put the poetry type at the end*btw thanks for the comment.
Nicki Schmidt ( F C D )
at 2008-11-29
Wooooww..I LOOOOVE THAT POEM!!
really creative...keep up the great work!!
SashaMirage ( F P C D )
at 2008-12-21
Wow, your poem was so beautiful and mesmerizing. The rhyming was beautiful and the flow was flawless. Your words were charming and very romantic. This was truely poetic magic. 5/5
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