AblissfulDREAMER ( F C D )
at 2008-06-18
New poem! You know I just had to read this one. I was hoping for something new by you and a love poem, okay I'm excited.
The title just captured my eye Britt and I was so curious to see how the poem played out.
"You've got this way about you that makes me small
But beautiful enough to fit into your warm hands
^Uhm can you say BEAUTIFUL!? Okay I just did lol. That was just flawless in how you worded each line. Such meaning and power seeped through my computer screen. Loved it.
"Your sweet charm embraces the cold in my eyes"
^Wow. Blew me away. I thought the two lines before that were amazing but oh my Britt you have left me in awe of this piece and I am shocked no one has commented it.
"The idea of fateful bliss weakens my soul
And maybe you're the reason I played those songs
I now know what it's like to feel that spark
Stealing photographed memories in your eyes"
^I couldn't find a fave line in this stanza because I loved the whole thing! Listening to love songs and thinking of the sweet memories are all signs of a new love. Beautifull expressed my dear.
"The overwhelming touch creates havoc in my heart"
^I loved your use of the word "havoc" here. It was really powerful and impacted the poem nicely.
"Surprising moments overloading on silent paper
And the pens gliding easily with sharpened words
Peaceful uniting bringing my heart at ease
While I continue to be lost in the pools of desire"
^The images you expressed with your use of words here was fllawless and I was left captivated. Amazinnggg!
The ending was soooo beautiful, I loved it! Don't be afraid to fall my dear Britt for you never know what happiness in love awaits you in his warm embrace. He better be nice to your heart lol. I could clearly see your emotions for this person are strong and it was obvious in your words.
Well done my dear.
*5/5*
[ Praised by : ]
Aureus Argentum ( F C D )
at 2008-06-18
What a beautifully composed poem. Your words were quite touching and stunningly used and the imagery was just unbelievably outstanding. I loved it.
Kimidakeni ( F P C )
at 2008-09-17
Another wonderful piece! very heartfelt and again very detailed. i loved it all!
The idea of fateful bliss weakens my soul
And maybe you're the reason I played those songs
I now know what it's like to feel that spark
Stealing photographed memories in your eyes
i loved that stanza. it held alot of meaning. especially the last line. this poem is really touching, you were blessed with a great gift in writing. job well done. 5/5.
-Ashlei.
Prophecies In Kodak ( F P C D )
at 2008-10-03
"But beautiful enough to fit into your warm hands"
You jacked that off of my poem about the little bird. :P Sort of. It was fit into your heavenly hands.
Anyway, you did pretty good throughout this poem... but your end wasnt too good, britt-o. You went back into using way too many descriptive words.
"metaphoric promises igniting our way "
That's way too much in one sentence. Metaphoric and promises just dont go together very well.
Otherwise, you had good emotion and good visual. I liked the rest of the poem but the end. You dont jam as many descriptive words together and you kept it simple enough to understand some, but complex enough to now.
And yes.. my comments are still the same.
Prophecies In Kodak ( F P C D )
at 2008-10-03
Not*
Conrad ( F P C D )
at 2008-11-29
What fantastic vocabulary! I love every bit of it.
Beauty never had a name prior to this meeting- how powerful
and silent paper, sharpened words-clever.
This poem is quite perfect.
Andrea Sunny ( F P C D )
at 2008-12-13
Ohhhhhhh Pants!
love this piece...mercy...
Mysterious Charmer ( F C )
at 2008-12-28
This is what I call a beautiful piece of poetry. The tone is so gentle and loving that it just instantly warms your heart. Great vocabulary, you've created picture perfect scenes.
I now know what it's like to feel that spark
Stealing photographed memories in your eyes
^These two lines really stuck out to me the most though. Your wording was all to perfect. I could imagine this line beautifully. It held so much depth, well done.
Overall the poem was amazing, definitely an enjoyable read.
Take care,
Mysterious Charmer
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