Bella ( F P C D )
at 2008-06-18
Aw !! Lovely poem, creates a joyful feeling while reading it. The way you related the beauty of nature with the great feeling of love gave a sweet truthful meaning to the poem.
This is my fav. part
"We kiss in light by rising sun,
the ray's sure joy by us outdone,
a greater pleasure there is none
when two hearts beat the same as one."
Great job, keep it up.
KindlyUnspoken ( F P C D )
at 2008-07-01
I'm not really a fan of love poetry, so I don't necessarily like the theme of this. However, I can't deny that the flow and rhyming of this poem were immaculate. It seemed like everything was pretty much perfect.
"We kiss in light by rising sun,
the ray's sure joy by us outdone,
a greater pleasure there is none
when two hearts beat the same as one."
^^ This was my favourite stanza. A beautiful image was created, and it was really sweet.
I can't fully go into depth with this, because I'm just not a fan of these. Though you write with beauty and thought, it has to be said. :]
Fsams ( F P C D )
at 2008-07-06
Well done with gud rhymes. I liked the flow and the word choice. U cud correct some typos. tc
ELLO MUPPET 5219 ( F C )
at 2008-07-08
That was sad yet, absolutely wonderful because it showed a lot of emotion and description like: in our own place, by old oak tree,
where spring bluebells brush by the knee,
where nature lives, mouse bird and bee,
and we like them creations free.
^^wow i can so picture where that was! beutiful!^^
and this: Its thoughts of you which keep me strong,
through days and nights on journey long,
to next verse make of our love song,
be side by side where we belong.
^^that was well described! WOW!^^
keep it up!! 5/5
Leap Of Faith aka Temps ( F P C D )
at 2008-08-06
"Its thoughts of you which keep me strong,"
`It's should have a apostrophe here...
First stanza; Strong.. pretty thoughtful.. beautiful.. umm, great start..great rhyme..
"Heart full of love for only you
my mind and soul are consumed too
of memories of us I view;
Your silloutte, through daybreak dew,"
`This was beautiful. It showed true feelings. Very heartfelt.
"in our own place, by old oak tree,
where spring bluebells brush by the knee,
where nature lives, mouse bird and bee,"
`This painted a great picture in my mind. Beautiful imagery.
"We kiss in light by rising sun,
the ray's sure joy by us outdone,
a greater pleasure there is none
when two hearts beat the same as one."
`This was cute! It painted such a beautiful picture in my mind. It's a beautiful moment.
"These thoughts I think while on the plane,
and on the dull grey man-made train,
going to you through wind and rain,
to be with you and purpose gain."
`Wow. What a amazing ending! Absolutely beautiful<33
Overall, this piece was oozing with love. Very beautiful. It was a wonderful sweet write. It showed true feelings/emotions towards someone that you love. Great great work. 5/5.
L ( F P C D )
at 2009-03-20
I'm not a fan of love poetry usually, but something about this caught my eye.
[[my mind and soul are consumed too
of memories of us I view;
Your silloutte, through daybreak dew,]]
That was just fantasic. It flows right off the tongue and set a powerful image.
I think its an over used topic, but one people tend to enjoy writing about which I can understand. And I liked how you filled it with pure emotion while still keeping the reader intrigued.
Fair play. (:
Italian Stallion ( F P C D )
at 2009-04-20
Wow, this was deep and very emotion packed. I loved it. This poem has a lot of meaning to me, I am favoriting it. I actually have tears in my eyes, this was a beautiful write which came straight from the heart. Flawless in all aspects, keep up the fantastic work my friend.
Peace, Joe
LoKa ( F P C )
at 2009-05-23
This is a really goood poem, i like it my favorite part is
We kiss in light by rising sun,
the ray's sure joy by us outdone,
a greater pleasure there is none
when two hearts beat the same as one.
good job,
Loka c/b
Directly Implied ( F C D )
at 2009-07-27
As I read this I thought of our conversation about love poems. You did an excellent job . It's not over done ,simple yet laced with a delicate touch.
Good write Colm
dreamofolwin ( F P C D )
at 2009-07-28
An amazing poem :) I love it. Wonderfully written and expressed... I too like how you bring nature into this poem "spring bluebells brush by the tree" :)... just beautifull!! and the contrast of the "dull grey manmade train."
Beautifull poem!
Olwin.
Nikki Stoner ( F P C )
at 2009-08-07
I was drawn in by the first line. I love it. 5/5
Nikki =D
Emma Wallis ( F P C D )
at 2009-08-31
Such emotion in so little space, wow. 5/5 x
I love you always and today ( F P C )
at 2009-09-12
AWWWW that's cute
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