Leap Of Faith aka Temps ( F P C D )
at 2008-07-11
"You smile and laugh
make her feel good"
``Your not you.
``Makes not make.
"pull out the wonders
as any good man should"
``Maybe use pulls instead of pull. Then you continue with what I mentioned above.
"You played her heart
too never be forgiven"
``To not too.
"her heart hollars rage"
``Hollers not hollars.
``Overall, a good poem. In some places it sounded like it wasn't worded very well, but I managed to get through it. The ending was very good, I thought. It kind of let some anger out, which was nice to see. Good write. 4/5.
Loni ( F C D )
at 2008-07-12
Aww! Beautiful work! Its so cute and romantic! You can just feel the emotion! Awesome work!
My Fragile Heart Belongs to You ( F P C D )
at 2008-07-22
WOW! Is all i can say. I've read some great love poetry before but never one this passionate and intense. I felt all of the emotion in this poem. great write! 5/5
Freedom ( F C D )
at 2008-08-24
Was that all she was?
your little pleasure tool
well look at you now.
a coward
hiding behind a mask
was that all she was?
your little defenseless tool
well It's time to cut the act
Because your just her little fool.
these was my favourite lines.i enjoyed reading poem,especially the end of it was so strong,i think some girls can relate this poem for theirselves (for example me!what a luckiness ;( )... anyway :) the passion just flow :) 5/5
Kaila ( F P C D )
at 2008-11-19
Nice poem:)
I loved the meaning and the story line behind it. I thought the flow was a little off and it sounded almost like a spoken word to me. So I guess if you were performing it, it would have been awesome! My favorite lines were:
you reveal to her your mask
you drag her off your stage
wrap her heart in your curtains
trap it in your cage
your final act
The thousand swords pact
^^
I loved the theater vibe you through to it, and it was very original nice job
4/5
Sumit Ojha ( F C D )
at 2008-11-20
Just fair (3/5)
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