Comments

Danny ( F P C D ) at 2008-07-12

Haha I like it. It's a bit vague but I like it! I do think you should make it a little more comprehensive... in my opinion... although I am probably just stupid because my abilities of writing poetry aren't perfect.

Forever and always,
I will be with you,
Sheilding your heart,
Mending your soul.

^^I love this message to whomever it is. It's a fantastic promise!

billy rob ( F P C D ) at 2008-07-12

"Crimson silver,
Your tear hits the water.
Gray sunshine,
I give you back the tear.

White darkness,
Your heart drops.
Black daisy,
I give you back the heart."

This was written almost like a guardian Angel was taking care of one that had been hurt badly. I loved the above verse and the 6th and 8th stanzas were a very nice touch. An excellent write, Bethany. Very well done, indeed. Billy Rob

BREE aw NUHH ( F P C D ) at 2008-07-12

I liked this a lot. It was written very well. However, I do feel as though it would be better if you were to keep up the rhyming through the whole poem. But your word choice is awesome. 5/5

-Briana

Finalgravedigger ( F P C D ) at 2008-07-12

I always thought the ones i loved would do this for me. But i learned that it doesnt matter how much you care at times. Nice poem

Kail ( F P C D ) at 2008-07-12

It almost seemed more like a song, than a poem to me. But I liked it... alot. lol Loved the vocabulary, the rhyming, everything. I liked how you rhymed a few things, so I'd keep that up throughout the whole poem. It sort of throws people off a bit. Other than that, it was good.

Melissa ( F C ) at 2008-07-13

Beautiful poem! I love it!!

ChloeLauren ( C ) at 2008-12-12

I loved it!

Its amazing!

just from the opening line you want to read more and read on! amazing!

Well Done Girlie!

Midnight Sun ( F P C D ) at 2009-01-15

Comment #3:
The feeling of obligation to this person and protection over them is very moving. The line about death bringing a new life was very different and I really liked it. Nice choice of words and it flowed really well. Great job, again! :)

SheFlowsThroughMyVeinsLikePosion ( F P C D ) at 2009-03-11

Wow.

Love's it.
Its so beautiful

xxx

AnCi ( F P C D ) at 2009-04-17

I like this poem but at times i feel that the rhymes are a little forced.. that they don't come naturally =/

Jad ( F P C D ) at 2009-05-04

I agree with anci that the rhyme seems a little forced in some areas but you did pretty descent in the rhyme though. The imagery in the poem was good too. The flow and the structure were good as well. Good job.

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