Comments - Your Everything

Kimberley ( F C D ) at 2008-11-03

Omg! that was so goooood!! like.. amazing! i love the repeatition, it gives the poem good format. 5/5 overall a wonderful piece. keep it up. ~KM~

Tia xOxO hmmm ( F P C D ) at 2008-11-03

I liked it a lot. this always happens sometime =\ its annoying but u hafta face it and move on.

fav part: "Boy , I can be your anything ;
And to you I'll always tend .
I want to be your everything ,
But never just your friend ." << i liked the way u said it. u didnt lead on and continue, u made it clean and simple.

5/5

~tia

Nobodys Hero ( F C D ) at 2008-11-03

Very sweet poem, the flow was very good and the rhyming was perfect =]
Great job, i did enjoy reading this piece.

A Soft Goodbye ( F C D ) at 2008-11-03

Wow, good poem keep it up

lostw1th0utlove ( F P C D ) at 2008-11-03

Short Stanza poems need to have more impactful ryhmes in order to get the feeling across,as longer poems have the effect normaly before the ryhme, And some of the ryhmes in this poem felt like they were forced, Random spelling errors,

Advice: Use spell check, Try two syllable words more often, words that people dont hear very often. One of my lines,

"A precarious home,Unsafe haven.
My love pilfered,Envy laiden."
4/5

Nula ( F P C ) at 2008-11-03

Girl! I love this poem! Love your expression & everything!

you choose great words to describe it!
its more than beautiful! ITS PERFECT!

xx

maggie at 2008-11-03

Wow this poem is great!
keep up the good work.
(:

pretty lady aka lily ( F C D ) at 2008-11-03

Wow..this is a great poem...!!!! it wuz juz..PERFECT...i love it.. it has to go on ma favs!! lolz great job !! 5/5

His Angel ( F P C D ) at 2008-11-03

I really liked this poem. It has a great flow and nice word choice. This poem as far as I am concerned is perfect. I see nothing wrong with it. Another 5/5

michael ( F ) at 2008-11-03

Another great poem and this one has the flow!!!
a great choice of words too.
if you wrote that for somebody they should feel very special that you would be so commited to them...

another 5/5 from me

Sammerz ( F P C D ) at 2008-11-03

Awww.... that is a way amazingly good poem.
I kno how you feell good job
5/5
Excellent job!!

Beautiful Forever ( F P C D ) at 2008-11-03

This poem had a cliche topic, but was written very originally. That's what I liked the most about this poem.. The flow was good, and the word usage was very effective. It had such a nice... way about it. I don't know how to describe it. But it really trapped me... all the way till the end.

I want to be your everything ,
But never just your friend .
^^ this was very beautiful... It really put a clincher on this poem.

5/5 from me!

Lost In Love ( F P C D ) at 2008-11-03

Hey, this is a really good poem. the flow was great and the rhyming was done very well.
Well done 5/5
Kal

ReBecca ( F P C D ) at 2008-11-04

Hopeless...All the words in this rhyme perfectly. Though for me it is a sad write, that you put so much into trying to make a man want you. I think that very possibly you are a great person on your own without trying to be a mans everything. Best of luck doll.

NeverBelieve ( F C ) at 2008-11-04

I really love it - amazing write - well done babe great writer! Cx 5/5

Cass ( F P C ) at 2008-11-04

Wow this is amazing. 5/5

Michael D Nalley ( F P C D ) at 2008-11-04

Very lyrical with the bold repetition of the conjunction "and". I have not red the critiques but I would guess someone would say that you broke some great rule of poetry
But a love poem is to me a heart song and rules are like hearts they are made to be broken and I like this just like it is
5>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

xXiloveyouXx ( F P ) at 2008-11-04

This is really pretty, and I know how you feel!<3

Scarlet Razor ( F C D ) at 2008-11-04

I thought that this was really cute. And congrats u got 1 of those rare opportunities where I give a 5/5. I thought that this poem had great flow, it ryhmed well, u got 2 the point, u even made me laugh on a love poem. I thought that it was funny on ur 3rd stanza in ur 3rd line ur like "And I can be the ONE" U had 2 make sure that he understood 1 and only ONE. lol I thought that was funny. 5/5

Nelle ( F P C D ) at 2008-11-05

I love love love this. It was beautifully written. So many feelings poured through this. You did an amazing job. I can relate to this, as I'm sure many people here can. Great job.


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