Cindy ( F P C D )
at 2009-02-06
This is really a beautiful poem. I love the imagery.
Thanking my good fortune, holding you close to my heart.
Praying to the Lord above, our lives paths will never part.
Just when things are at their darkest.....it seems we always find a light to bring us hope. That someone who brings smiles back to our life.
Lying entranced, your head on my shoulder under a velvet sky.
Two lovers found each other, it all started with a simple, "hi".
I love the simpleness of the ending. We find things in the least expected places. Sometime they have been right in front of us the entire time.
Great job!
Love Cindy
[ Praised by : ben thompson ]
Sylvia ( F P C D )
at 2009-02-10
I don't know how I missed this one. A beautiful, simple love poem. It is happy, sweet, romantic and the last line is the best. It all started with a simple Hi. Excellent work. 5/5
XxSHATTEREDxX ( F P C D )
at 2009-02-11
The ending completes the poem and showed me why itwas called hi!
great wording and great flow!
well written keep it up!
xo
End Of Eternity ( F P C D )
at 2009-02-11
Hope to meet lucky women someday. This is really a very special poem and has been written beautifully. Glad to see a love poem coming from you. Great write friend.
all the best and take care
Stormy ( F C D )
at 2009-02-18
Life is full of surprises..
'Lying entranced, your head on my shoulder under a velvet sky.
Two lovers found each other, it all started with a simple, "hi".'
This is a very real love poem, very well expressed.
Best Wishes to you both.
Dixiedaisy ( F P C D )
at 2009-03-03
Alrighty dear bro I am so glad you were able to express your emotions about this beautiful woman in your life. She seems as though she was the angel waiting in the wings. Beautiful write dear. The picture you paint is a magical, romantic scene and theres no place you would rather be than where you are. Wonderful job..
I think you got so excited with this and missed this but it should be shining with one N instead of two.
It is funny but those two letters "Hi" were the start of mine and Wally's relationship. I am loving that you wrote this and know how you feel. All the luck in the world to you dear.
debbylyn ( F P C D )
at 2009-03-06
Nicely written with beautiful sentiment within. Great rhyming..
My only criticism...the two line couplet arrangement is a bit distracting...I'd try putting them in 4 line stanzas instead...nicely done...beautiful dedication...Love Aunt Debbie
Rachel ( F P C D )
at 2009-03-11
What a nice dedication to your special someone. I am glad you found someone who inspires you to write in happy style. i know how you love the dark side :)
dreamofolwin ( F P C D )
at 2009-05-26
This is indeed a beautiful love poem. So well written and expressed.. to that special someone. Bravo!
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