Christina Gomes ( F P C D )
at 2009-03-03
"Everything reminds me of you, jokes, words, every room"
the first comma should be a semi-colon.
Other than that great poem, can't think of how to improve it. I love that your first stanza and last stanza both begin with the same line. By doing this you were able to bring the whole poem together and tie it up and you brought my attention back to the beginning of the poem which made me read it for a second time. That's a wonderful thing to achieve because it gets the reader to look deeper into your writing.
keep it up. 5/5
Gasttlee ( F P C D )
at 2009-03-07
"ronic isn't it? That when words fail music speaks
Each track takes on a new meaning of being unique
Playing those songs, hit repeat, they remind me of you
Giving myself wholly to you, my heart you shall accrue"
You really have a way of spreading your thoughts and emotions. They come out flawlessly. 5/5
Michael D Nalley ( F P C D )
at 2009-03-09
This poem does not miss a beat delivering the desired passion well
ilikepurple222 ( F P C )
at 2009-03-10
I really love this one! honestly. I think it's great. People can really relate to it. Music helps me with anything. & it can instantly change my mood. keep writing because I think you're really talented. comment on any of my new ones????
No Need For A Name ( F P C D )
at 2009-04-04
I found it rather enjoyable. It sets itself apart from other love poetry with the reference to music and such. The only problem is the flow is off in places. And the flow is off because of inner line rhymes in some, and not in others. Example:
Ironic isn't it? That when words fail music speaks
Each track takes on a new meaning of being unique
Playing those songs, hit repeat, they remind me of you
Giving myself wholly to you, my heart you shall accrue
See, "repeat" rhymes with "unique" throwing off the rythme. Same thing happens in the third and fourth lines with using "you" twice. Maybe take a look at it.
Peace and prosperity,
(RKD)
Aish ( F P C D )
at 2009-05-30
Naw-this is beautiful-nice repitition of "ironic isnt it?" i liked that-it worked really well.
really nice rhythm, rhyme and flow-all consistant-5/5 from me
aish
xx
Mr Rhee ( F P C )
at 2009-08-14
I really liked the way this started. My, oh my. How many of us have these thoughts and feelings about the music that ties us together? Many good thoughts in this poem, and I liked the way you strung your lines together, like the thoughts running in one's head. Very good.
Stephanie Michelle ( F C )
at 2009-09-15
I love it how you opened your poem with a question, that captured my attention immediately.
Beautiful writing. Your imagery is fantastic. Though your rhythm could be touched up a little, it was by no means bad.
(:
Stephanie
Marcus blake ( F P C )
at 2009-11-29
Amazing work keep it up...
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