End Of Eternity ( F P C D )
at 2009-03-11
After a long time we are posting a poem together and am so glad to do that.
This is another amazing piece & i really loved this one spl
Your Strength embraces me
Like a Majestic Mountaintop
Your quietly in the distance
Pure love lifting me up
Thank you so much for adding your magic in it.
all the best and take care
soso ( F C D )
at 2009-03-12
You wrote a new poem, a love one!
I am so glad to see this, Nitin is awesome guy for he was able to make you feel better and come up with optimistic delightful read.
Very beautiful Cindy.
Much love and all the best wishes.
Sylvia ( F P C D )
at 2009-03-12
This is a beautiful love poem describing the ways someone's love makes you feel. Good write from both of you. 5/5
Dixiedaisy ( F P C D )
at 2009-03-12
Cindy,
I was so touched when I read this beautiful collab that you two have created. I know the love and friendship between you two creates the most beautiful poetry, written and unwritten. I especially loved the use of his pen name End of Eternity woven into the poem. It brings such a distinguished air to the meshing that you two always create when writing together.
I too loved these lines.
Your Strength embraces me
Like a Majestic Mountaintop
Your quietly in the distance
Pure love lifting me up
Although the strength of the mountain top is invisible the power behind it is as much a part of your life as if it were by your side. Great write, as always.
Kay
[ Praised by : Cindy ]
Rachel ( F P C D )
at 2009-03-12
Nice to see you two meshing styles again. My only suggestion is to remove the capital letters here:
^Your "S"trength embraces me
Like a "M"ajestic "M"ountaintop ^
^To shine on the "W"orlds beauty ^
I love how you added end of eternity..great job!
debbylyn ( F P C D )
at 2009-03-12
Nice to see a collab from the two of you...well written as always. Uplifting and romantic...well done!
Anna Stephens ( F P C D )
at 2009-03-12
You two did such a beautiful job on this....I loved the repetition of "Your" at the beginning of each stanza.
Very nicely done!!!!!!!
ben thompson ( F P C D )
at 2009-03-13
Outstanding write, smooth,fluid, and beautiful. i enjoyed it . 5/5
Nema ( F P C D )
at 2009-03-13
What a great love poem for you two =)
I really loved the emotions in it, although your rhyme needed to be strengthened a little bit more.
Your Strength embraces me
Like a Majestic Mountaintop
You're quietly in the distance
Pure love lifting me up
I loved this stanza, it's probably the best out of the whole poem.
The stanza next to it was great too, I guess Nitin is the one who wrote it?? lol apparently cause it holds the words "end of eternity".
Anyway great job you two =)
Write on !
Side Effects ( F P C D )
at 2009-03-13
Both you and end of eternity have thrown yourselves into this. Each stanza was beautifully writen. Very professional write. 5/5
Valedico ( F P C D )
at 2009-03-13
This is a sweet poem:
'Your heart is like an island
I wish to have discovered before
Your voice is like an ocean
Where I never want to find the shore'
The imagery and similes used here are easy to comprehend and quite fitting to the poem's tone. I do think the word 'where' is a bit misplaced here. I don't think you need it.
'Your heart beat is the music
That soothes me to sleep
Your bright smile in the memories
I will forever keep'
Very romantic and sweet. The idea of a heartbeat (being just a continuous drone) putting someone to sleep is quite interesting, I got an image of a couple holding each other tight, and her head pressed against his chest.
'Your breaths are like a breeze
Spreading love all around
Your dreams could embrace the sky
Without lifting a foot from the ground '
I think 'your breath is like a breeze' would be nicer, but I adored the last couplet, the flow was spot on and is perhaps the best moment in the poem. Excellent.
'Your Strength embraces me
Like a Majestic Mountaintop
You're quietly in the distance
Pure love lifting me up '
I admire the consistency you have here. The alliteration was nice and again, it's another well penned stanza. Nothing much critical to say other than 'quietly' seems off, as an adverb.
'Your eyes are deep enough
To look in, till the end of eternity
Your faith is strong enough
To shine on the Worlds beauty '
Flow was a bit off in the second line but I liked the idea of the eyes almost being bottomless, always finding solace there, always finding something new. Brilliant.
'Your laughter is my serenade
Brings me smiles when I grieve
You're my trusted tree of life
To whom I'll always cleave'
Fantastic ending, really admired this poem's consistency and well chosen lexis. Brilliant collaboration (although I couldn't tell it was one) because it flowed so well.
Good work!
[ Praised by : Cindy ]
billy rob ( F P C D )
at 2009-04-12
This was absolutely beautifully written. When you two collb, it is impossible for me to distinguish between the two of you. An excellent write, indeed. Well done to both of you. Billy Rob
Paul anand singh ( F C )
at 2009-05-17
Once again the two of you have made magic with your beautiful words.This is a beautiful pie e that shows the depth of one persons love for the other.always a pleasure to read your colabs.
Keep up the great work Cindy.
An enjoyable read.
Paul...
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