Maya ( F P C D )
at 2009-06-08
Michael,
Although this poem is very creative and cleverly written, something is off...I cannot put a finger on it..maybe the use of"he"and "she" idk..I think you have to look at it again to see if it is really coherent.
I will rate it a 5/5 but hope you will take a second look at it.
I will give your friend a different comment, off course, ha ha.
(( hugs)) xx
5/5 Ingrid
ps: I saw the thread, you must have been bored beyond belief;)
Kiko ( F C )
at 2009-06-11
This is about the darkest "love poem" I have ever read. I liked the macabre imagery, and the English sonnet form was pulled off quite well, sort of like William Shakespeare meets Edgar Allan Poe... not hard to guess which one of you is which. :]
Well done to the both of you!
Cindy ( F P C D )
at 2009-06-17
Michael
what a collab :)
Infecting these wounds that silently scream,
Paralysed emotions claw to escape.
A seething demon with a vengeful gleam,
Malice now takes an horrific new shape.
What a picture this paints for the minds eye. Very dark. Very different.
I enjoyed reading this piece.
Good job to both of you.
Take Care
(((hugs)))
Cindy
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