Comments - Today

Blue Eyed Blonde at 2009-06-09

Cale,
This made me cry...

It's beautiful!

Don't stop writing kid.
:)

All of these are amazing.
Ily. :)

Photograhs and Memories ( F P C D ) at 2009-06-10

Oh wow! it is different but its really sweet and great i love it!!! good job. sometime mixing it up is a good thing 5/5
-laura

Lost In Love ( F P C D ) at 2009-06-10

This is a really lovely poem. i could find only one or two small mistakes. For "glad that your all mine" the 'your' should be "you're". and the "Your left her on earth alone" should be "you're" and her should be "here". other than those small things it really is a great poem. 5/5
Well done
Kalee"

Brittany at 2009-06-10

Wow! This poem is truely amazing. I love the flow of it. It gave me chills and it has a great story to. Keep it up!

Lilium ( F P ) at 2009-06-11

Aw.. This was beautiful! Brava! Stupendous!
You held me in a captivated trance throughout this entire piece. It was a silent melody. It held notes of sadness and joy. The quiet pain that the person felt over losing their true love. The intense happiness about being able to see them again after all the years of loneliness. This was heartbreaking. It was deeply moving and very heartening at the same time. You created a love story. It struck me as a bit cliche. But guess what. That fine. You made it your own. A very different but familiar subject. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this work. It was monumental. Suffice to say I can concur that you deserve an applaud. A hand clap on the back. Truly warming piece.
*applauds*
5/5






-Lilium

LifesALovePoem ( F P C D ) at 2009-06-11

Really good poem! I really liked it, though it was longer than Im used to reading.
First off, be creative with punctuation. It is your friend, and a couple commas or semi-colons would add some "flavor" to the poem. I would like it so much more if you added some commas and stuff like that.
Secondly, in the 5th stanza, final line, "lies only" would sound much better than "only lays". It's up to you, but it would definatley help with the poem.

Lastly, be creative with your words too. Use new words in your poems. It makes it a lot better.

Great write. I expect more awesome poetry from you. :)

Krista

[ Praised by Cale | Approved by Italian Stallion ]

m3nDiGa ( P ) at 2009-06-11

Beautiful poem I love it. Its sad bt a great love poem. A lot of feelings in dis poem

Shattered Dreams ( F P C ) at 2009-06-11

Awwww, i really liked this poem, it was very sweet and sad, i like the rhyme and flow.

good job

moonlil ( F P C ) at 2009-06-11

I like your poem. In the beginning it seems to be a happy poem but then it turns out to be so sad. Very good job.

Nobodys Hero ( F C D ) at 2009-06-11

A very beautifull yet sad poem, i found it really creative and well worded =] The flow worked quite well and the structure of the piece suits the overall style, really good job!

Kaila ( F P C D ) at 2009-06-12

I loved the idea of this poem a lot:) I don't think every sentance should have a period because there were some that should have tied together. Also the flow was a little rocky. Keep writing
4.5/5

bluexeyesxkill ( F P ) at 2009-06-16

This is awesome! great work!

IdaLia at 2009-06-16

This was so beautiful - *

Kuro ( F P C D ) at 2009-06-17

Wow, that was deep and moving. love that lasts forever like that is rare and beautiful.

thanks for sharing
~Ben

charles ( F P C ) at 2009-06-17

Good writing, reminds me a bit of my own "Two Souls"

Olivia B at 2009-06-23

My eyes watered as I read this. I felt love and understanding--I was basically moved. It takes skill to write such a loving piece that could depict life so perfectly. I am soo... speechless.

Thank you for such a piece

Jessie at 2009-06-30

I was moved by this fantastic piece of art. It's my favorite poem, by far. I hope you don't mind that I've saved your writing on my computer, but I have written your name at the bottom along with the address bar. I'm amazed by the skill in this poem, and by the tears that almost fled my eyes. Thank you for submitting this, i think you have talent. Never give up. And if you make it big, please, PLEASE, message me and tell me, i'd love to be able to read more poems by you.

DreamOfOlwin ( F P C D ) at 2009-12-22

Your writing is astounding lol. You make your poem feel so real, and I love the rhyme and flow in this piece. Keep up the fantastic work...
Olwin