Comments

Deathsdarkness ( F P C D ) at 2009-06-22

This is a great poem the rythem is steady and smooth but seems forced in places which ruins it a bit on the second stanza you should put the instead of tha the structure is brilliant though all the way the emotion is so deep and honest

well done

Cindy Mountain ( P C ) at 2009-06-22

Wow! Now this is a great piece. you difinitly
hit the heart here. Good Job! 5/5

Elliott at 2009-06-25

A magnificine rythem, tho i have to agree with another comment the last two paragraphs seem a little heavy, but all in all...Brilliant!!

I Bruise Easily ( F P C D ) at 2009-06-25

>>most of this poem was very well worded and intence, which is always a good thing, but some lines are forced and its clear they are forced, have another look over and see if you would change anything - if your having trouble with rhyming there is a button at the top between articles and FAQ's that could help you out.<<

Well done on a good piece of work.

IBE
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