T e m p s ( F P C D )
at 2009-07-28
'I wouldn't even let you be
the thick piece of gum
on the bottom of my converses.'
`I had to stop and re-read this cause it was so original and something Ive never heard in my life. I love the meaning behind these lines though, telling someone to not think so highly of themselves and then comparing it to something else. A original metaphor.. well done.
'Never again will I be
a prey of your sword.
A victim of your love.'
`Loved the ending very strong..powerful!
I could see a lot of mixed emotions in this piece, mostly anger and frustration; but also guilt for falling for them and being 'a victim of their love' as well as hurt because of what this nasty person did to you.
I loved the part where you said you thought love was supposed to be between two people, and not three... and how you didnt get the memo, a very sarcastic comment but loved it cause sadly it happens sometimes.. it was unique the way you said it.
A great write, I think I gave you this challenge a while back; the spider web thing was a bit familiar to me. I thought you did great with this.
Hmm a title; I am really terrible @ them, so unfortunetly I'm not sure if I can help you on that part. Love's Spider Web? - love is kind of like a spider web, we get spun up in it.. Victim of Love? - although @ the end you say you wont be a victim any longer, yet your whole poem was being a victim of this love. I told you I'm terrible at suggestions.. so I hope someone else has an idea!
Well done:]
[ Praised by : Lady Nik ]
Lemon Squeezy ( F C )
at 2009-07-29
Title- "From Love Sick to Sick of Love" kinda lengthy thats all i got as far as a title great poem nik. i enjoyed it hope u burned whomever it was written about.
Freedom ( F C D )
at 2009-08-23
The situation i could somehow connect to what i was going through,and the more poems i read,i see that i m not alone going through this.Poem is sad,what i loved the most and my fav stanza was
It's sad....almost pathetic
to think I was so in love with you
You...of all people.
I was enthralled by your every word
Call...and I was always there.
Not anymore...I am not your
slave...not your property.
good job :)
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