Spirit ( F P C D )
at 2009-10-30
I really liked this poem. I almost gave it a five.
But I didn't and don't worry I have a reason.
I noticed that you put a comma or period at the end of every line. I believe that to be a mistake. This poem should flow from line to line, like a wave. That said I hope that you don't take out all the commas. One does need to breath while reading.
I hope you understand what I'm tryin to say.
Any way remember to write every thought down.
>-Spirit->
Kurt ( F P C D )
at 2009-10-30
Unbelievable. A true depiction of how utterly in love two people can be. This poem was beautiful and I loved every line. The imagery painted a picture that I will remember for the rest of my life. There is not enough space for all the compliments this poem deserves. Absolutely brilliant, emotional and heartfelt.
Bad Habits Die Hard ( F P C D )
at 2009-10-30
That was amazing.
I agree with spirit that you shouldnt have that many commas or periods on your poem.
But i do not give votes based on gramatical error or choices, i base it on the poem itself so 5/5
Lady Nik ( F P C D )
at 2009-10-30
I liked this, but I feel "I see the world" was a much better piece. I think you did a good job with telling the story of you too. A very creative and original piece. Very lovely wording and strong emotions are noticable throughout. It's a very sweet poema nd I'm sure your girlfriend would love it. Keep it up dear. Nik
Finalgravedigger ( F P C D )
at 2009-10-30
This is a very unique style of writing where you description is truly marvelous. I loved the begining of the poem the most, i of course loved the rest as well. But i was a little dissapointed when the night in shining armor came lol. Thats just me however lol. Nice work none the less.
Mr Rhee ( F P C )
at 2009-10-31
"He is more vital than oxygen, he is her blood." What a wonderful line to show how much she has to have her love. How deep a love can run within us. This is a beautiful poem. Karl, you have a way with words. I wish I had your talent.
Kaila ( F P C D )
at 2009-11-01
I liked this poem. Very cute. I do think though that the flow needs a little work. Nothing major just maybe adding and subtracting some words here and there. Also try to use less of the word she...
I just felt like it was a bit too much overall nice job
4.5/5
Kristina ( F P C D )
at 2009-11-02
This poem was very well written and it flowed really nicely, too. I think you did a really great job on writing it. You expressed yourself very well. 5/5
~Kristina
Courageous Dreamer ( F P C D )
at 2009-11-02
Such awesome vivid description. I felt like I was there with you. Nicely done, & congrats on the win...well deserved.
billy rob ( F P C D )
at 2009-11-03
"She'd give anything to be in his arms,
To have him hold her, surround her every inch,
She needs him to survive,
More vital than oxygen, he is her blood."
Wow! What a beautiful declaration of love and promise. I have read your work before..my first chance to comment. You are a great talent. This was well worth the win, Karl. A very well done from me. Billy Rob
Ashurii Rayne ( F P C )
at 2009-11-04
Wow, this poem pretty much took my breath away! So loving, so heartfelt. So many emotions all tied together it was brillant. This is the best poem I've read all day, simply amazing. Never have I read anything like this, you have a wonderful talent. Keep up the great work.. congrats!
Ash.
End Of Eternity ( F P C D )
at 2009-11-04
Could feel love and innocence in every word, very nicely written. Congrats on your win, well dervsed one indeed.
all the best and take care
kaylajoyx3
at 2009-11-08
"Suddenly without warning he appears,
Shining in her eyes brighter than the sun ever could,
She writes their names in the sand one more time,
He outlines them with a heart, she smiles." This part made me smile. The flow was so free in this poem and I could tell that it is a poem of real love. I like how you said you have to take chances on love.. sink or swim.. I admire your writing style. good job 5/5 - kayla
PinkyPrincess ( F C )
at 2009-11-08
Awwwwwww!! this is one of the most beautiful poems I have EVER read.... I looove it!! And I love everything about it... from the words you wrote to the message behind the poem... it was simply perfect! Wonderful job and congratulations on the win!! You really deserve it :)
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