Comments - Sea Shell Of Memories

DeafBeats ( F ) at 2011-01-12

Now as I return from that memory
It seems like only yesterday
Yet knowing in reality that
Moment dates back quite away

^^^
This stanza feels like one of those sentences that drag on forever. Maybe you could put commas to indicate a breath because it don't know where the start and the end is.

Over all the last stanza was the best. Closing it with the shell and connection.

Thanks for sharing :)

"Regret" was the one I liked best from the three new ones ^.^

Aure ( F P C ) at 2011-01-16

Again, I love your writing. There is almost nothing that should be changed in my opinion.

Only this line:
It is like I am right back there
Might be better:
It's like being right back there

But that's just me, I don't like to use or read "I" to much in poems. But again, maybe oothers may claim otherwise.

AngelDust ( F C D ) at 2011-01-18

This is a beautiful piece. It just flows with love and I could really feel that. You wrote this is a lovely way. I like the lay out and smoothness of it. You really spoke of your emotion in this. Excellent huni.

Danika
xoxox

Grant Gilbert AKA Slash ( F P C D ) at 2011-01-27

What a lovely poem, i think you got the emotion spot on in this one, i also loved your descriptions of the sea and its surrounds. Well done.Grant

A lonely soul ( F P C D ) at 2011-12-28

Memory lane poems are so very enchanting. Sea shells, sand between the toes, the tide...a nice and memorable write.


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