Simon Hayes ( F C D )
at 2006-05-10
Britt... I like it the way it is, I don't think it needs much more. Perhaps you could justify why he's an angel? Touch on the rough you've had and how "He" rescued your heart... I know you can come up with something, you're talented enough :)
Just one thing:
"Melodous whispers encircle my heart"
^^^ Think that is Melodious?
Great write anyways :)
ღNemOღ ( F P C D )
at 2006-05-10
I'm sorry I hv no ideas..cuz I gotta admit ur poem was amazing....I LOVE short meaningful poems*probably said it to lots of members*hehe!
your poem doesn't need anything..its so perfect and true!! I can relate to this ;)
Keep it up
Luv
NemO x0x0x0x0x0x
Cuddles ( F P C D )
at 2006-05-10
Thief! You stole my title! LOL!! This is incriedible, Britt! Love so pure shows through it.
•°-Renee™-°• ( F P C D )
at 2006-05-11
I'm soooo happy that you found this angel. He's the kind of person that everyone deserves in their life, and lucky you, you have him :-P I'm not sure what you could add to this, I agree with Simon though, put a little of the rough times you have had and show how he's shown you to have all this faith and trust now. I hope it helps, even though someones already said it :-S Great job on this poem though! It really shows how much he's done for you, and it shows how much feeling you have towards him.
Take Care,
Renee
Natalie84 ( F P C D )
at 2006-05-11
Britt: I love it. It's beautiful. I think you did a great job. I love how your poetry has been changing...it was sad and depressing and now it shows promise and happy thoughts...lol I'm so happy for you and I hope it just gets better....I KNOW it would be A LOT better if you came down here....lol Well...I'll be talking to you...
And...about MY poem...you should know ME better than that. lol But it was nice to see that for a second you were concerned...HAHAHAHA Love ya...
Otilia Kay
at 2006-05-11
This is really cute i really liked it♥
Otilia Kay
at 2006-05-11
This is really cute i really liked it♥
InDiA ( F P C )
at 2006-05-11
Wow this poem is so HOT!! N ITS so SWEET N meaningful i gave it a 5..n i would really appreciate it if u came n rated n commented some of ma poems 2;)
Steven ( F )
at 2006-05-12
Ya it was good...it wasnt amaZING!!...i dont know.....dont think it should be the top rated...i mean it doesnt flow that well....theres parts i get stuck and have to re-read it...dont get me wrong its good...i like..."if you dont have anything good to say then dont say anything at all" yes im aware of this but just stating my opinion
Simon Hayes ( F C D )
at 2006-05-12
Britt... You've asked me to critique... However, this is just perfect. The changes you have made are just out of this world. You took what I said and turn this poem into the sort of thing I was hoping for. You've clearly described your feelings, your past pain and how it has been washed away with new love. The way you've explained the feelings of being "unafraid" really brought the poem to another level.
The flow has come alive with your beautiful rhymes and the words you've used stand out so wonderfully.
All in all, I really love this poem now. A wonderful ending.
Well done!!!!
♥Angela♥ ( F P C D )
at 2006-05-12
Well, I think SiE has said it best^^, what more can I add. Its beautifully written, rhyme and flow are perfect. It describes the pain you felt and how someone new has come along to take it away and how he has now created new feelings for you...... I love it Britt!! You're writing has come such a long way since we first met. Keep up the wonderful work.....
Smiles, Hugs and Love, Angela
kimberly
at 2006-05-12
This is very good !!!!!!! your a great poet lollll beybye
Tabitha Dilly
at 2006-05-12
This is so good
Ruby Root
at 2006-05-12
Hi IBit, It was a pleasure to read your poem. There was a lot of different emotions used in this poem. Your poem evoked life like images within my mind. (good vivid imagery) It was well written. Take care and thank you for sharing.
emotionless.19* ( F C D )
at 2006-05-12
Awesome poem.. Beautifully written I would change a thing its perfect. =) Very sweet poem and meaningful. I agree your poem had different emotions in it but it ended on a happy note.. Great job!!! =)
--emotionless.19*
Bill Turner ( F P C D )
at 2006-05-13
What a beautiful poem. Open. Honest. Heart warming. I am happy for you!
Arti
at 2006-05-13
This is a beautiful poem - your emotions just are so eloquent. Keep writing!
Arti
Alex Salanitro
at 2006-05-13
That is the best i like
Alex Salanitro
at 2006-05-13
I love that so much thay r hot love poems
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