Sarah-Joy ( F C D )
at 2006-05-27
I especially love this stanza:
"And though with nightfall
reality will bring us down,
another day will come;
the kite will again fly around"
I can relate. This is a very beautiful poem. Truly refreshing. It's not often that I read a poem about kites, flying kites, etc. Great job!
Sarah White ( F P C D )
at 2006-05-28
Sorry the return comment has taken so long.
This poem is written perfectly, and the structure compliments the poem very well. In my opinion, the last line seems slightly wrong as I had to read it several times to try to get it to fit. It feels a bit too long, however this is a minor thing and it may just be me that thinks this. FAntastic poem.
Becky ( F P C D )
at 2006-06-03
Tis poem sounds so lovely, sounds just like sometihng from a wonderful dream, something so amazing it could only be real in a ream. amazing poem.
lots of love
*~*Becky*~*
§äяаћ ღ ( F P C D )
at 2006-06-08
Excellent use of imagery. I had a good picture the whole time I read it. It wasn't too long or short, and it ended perfectly with just the right words. I don't know how you do it so well, but keep it up. xxx 5/5
Melissa S. Masucci ( F P C D )
at 2006-06-16
Very rarely does anyone write something fun and light-hearted anymore, and usually they get criticized that light-hearted stuff isn't as deep and meaningful. I don't think that's necessarily the case at all and I think this is a good example of that.
XxXLaurenxXx ( F P C D )
at 2006-06-19
Is This a Song? Because when i read it it seems like a song to me. Which makes me like it even more. .There's nothing bad i can say.. its flawless...
XxXLaurenxXx ( F P C D )
at 2006-06-19
Hey i wasnt done.. and it did it twice.. how annoying. we should be able to delete comments.. anyways
the only thing that could make it better was if you added a tune, beat and melody, recorded it and put it on myspace.. lol.
\5|5/ for sure..
xLaurenx
lexie ( P C D )
at 2006-06-19
Beautiful work.
i love the idea of kite.
especially the repitition of "like a kite,like a kite"
wonderful.
-lexie
SilverKiss ( F P C D )
at 2007-07-26
Time to be free and fly on that day
where the turbulence in the world
will let us climb away...
seems a bit choppy and forced, but the whole first stanza took my breath away.
Fsams ( F P C D )
at 2007-07-26
Very creative poem with good use of metaphors and the analogies are well fitted in the poem. Overall a cohesive and great poem. tc
Danielle
at 2008-01-16
Hey, great work.
I can definately relate to this.
I've read most of your poems and their all wonderful.
:)
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