Comments - Wedding Dreams

Bill Turner ( F P C D ) at 2006-06-21

What an awesome poem. Powerful and what a story it tells. Great job.

-^-»TaLeEe! ( F P C D ) at 2006-06-21

Awww!!! That is so cute!! And I liked it!

"Walking with you, I held your hand,
Your wedding dress dragged the sand."

That line was cool, Cause beach weddings rock! And, It sounded really pretty.

And, I liked how you ended it, Realising it wasn't a dream.

The flow and rhyming were really good aswell. I liked this poem lots! 5/5 =)

`Taleee. xx.




¤• נєѕѕу •¤ ™ ( F P C D ) at 2006-06-21

Awwwww.. that is soo sweet! that was just so beautiful.. lol, way better than my wedding poem :P this flow and rhymes worked excellently.. the descriptions were great.. as was the imagery.. i cant wait till i get married :P nice write! 5/5

Kaylee (Unwritten) ( D ) at 2006-06-21

That was beautiful and the rhymes weren't forced but painted such a wonderful picture. And I'd hate to repeat people but, Awwwww.

~*ForbiddenEyes*~(Noni W.) ( F P C D ) at 2006-06-21

Beautiful romantic poem. Your descriptions made the images so real. Keep it up

Simon Hayes ( F C D ) at 2006-06-21

Wonderfully written Darien. A story told with beautiful words! Flow and rhyme are splendid!

Arcane Blondie ( F P C D ) at 2006-06-21

Amazing poem! the rhyme helped it flow so well! 5/5

Sean Allen ( F P C D ) at 2006-06-21

"I passed out and awake to dawn."
awoke, not awake
~~~
"Then I heard the voice of you,"
only awkwardly constructed line in the poem
~~~
Great stanzas with lots of details, particularly the first three. I really enjoyed the rhythm, though some parts felt strange reading out loud because they were slant rhymes (ear/hair -- dipthong problems) (veil/detail -- not a slant rhyme but a stressed syllable problem, veil has the stress on the vowel sound that detail doesn't...)

Good poem.

Sick.&.Tired. Of. Waiting. ( F P C D ) at 2006-06-21

Awwww. Darien, this was heartbreaking in a beautiful way. I couldn't think of a thing to improve, really. I saw it as elegant with detail and lovely in itself. Wonderfully written, Darien! Bravo!!

♥kazza♥ ( C D ) at 2006-06-21

Awwwwwwwwwww... Darien i loved this poem. it had a great array(sp?) of emotions.


Kazza

Kim ( F P C D ) at 2006-06-23

Darien this is so sweet and romantic! I;m glad I don't have to truly critique it because it's way too perfect for me to change anything ^_^ A beautiful poem you have written!
Amour,
Kim

Laura ( F P C D ) at 2006-06-23

Wow I was hooked from the beginning...

I've seen you in my dreams before,
We walked along that sandy shore.
The moonlight lit your eyes so wide,
On that night, you became my bride.

I melted...it was sucha beautiful write!!
5/5

Dre4meR ( F C D ) at 2006-06-23

What a wonderful poem that tells a story...that was amazing

Sarah Drew ( F P C D ) at 2006-06-23

Great work. This is different from most of you poems I read. It's nice to see some variety. I really like it.

Nate ( C D ) at 2006-06-24

Wonderful poem, my friend. The ups and downs in your last stanza was great. I wasn't sure if it was a dream or reality until the end. Beautiful flow to your poem. Thanks!
Nate aka "The Tie Guy"

Emma ( F P C D ) at 2006-06-26

Awww....That was really sweet...I loved it...Great job...
Emma 5/5

Kisses all around(AnnMarie) ( F C D ) at 2006-06-26

This is a great poem, IS IT new?? I have you as a favorite already but I have never read this one before....totally awesome

*razxr_blade_kisses* ( F P ) at 2006-06-26

This was beautiful. i loved it! for a little while there, u had me thinking it really was just a dream. 5/5

-*»dOra ( F C ) at 2006-06-27

0mg that was s0 g0od. beautifully written darl. havent read 0ne 0f ur w0rk in a while. a very t0uching piece. great use 0f w0rds. very heartfelt. keep it up xx


!•°•Megan•°•! at 2006-06-27

Wow thats was VERY well written, i really liked it!



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