...Me... ( F P C D )
at 2007-03-30
I loved and hated that all at the same time. I loved it because you captured everything - and all of it in a different way than I have seen before. I hated it because it only made me relive my own memories,and rethink my own answers... Sometimes I can't stand when poetry is written too well. It hurts. But I can only give you a kudos for this. It seems you know all too well what you're talking about - that doesn't always happen on this site. *Wonderful job.
Luanne ( F P C D )
at 2007-04-02
It was impulse;
a one second, foundation-less urge.
Had he known how he would
feel
about it afterward,
he surely wouldn't have done...
it...
with... 'her' ... and not...
Her.
^^^
I love the depth in this part !
Amazing the difference one capital makes in the reading of a poem.
Very creative, the style one I have yet to see before today on this site.
I am very impressed with your word usage and must take a look at more of your writes.
You captured my attention from beginning to ending word.
Take care
Luanne
Rhonda {xoxo} Elizabeth ( F P C D )
at 2007-04-05
Ok.... so i pretty much love this poem, but the wording is a little off and the poem is REALLY long. the flow and meaning of the poem is great. but im not sure about the wording....
xo kisses xo ( F P C D )
at 2007-04-10
*tear* great poem!
She loved him in
Confidence.
He loved her in
Betrayal.
i love how u repeated those ^ lines!! thats so sad. great poem. 5/5
xo kisses xo
honeypot ( C )
at 2007-04-22
Hello
Loved this poem. It is so real, and accurate.
I think almost everyone will be ableto relate with this, and I think that is what makes great poetry.
5/5
Anonymous Angel ( F P C D )
at 2007-04-23
Hey,
nice poem, its so real, i think many can relate to it ( I can't relate to it, thank goodness!) I love the style of your poem,
great work 5/5
kisses stephanie
GiRLDOLLY ( F C D )
at 2007-04-24
Omgoshness.
Wow. I don't know what to say.
Extremly well written.
BRILLIANT.
Haha this is lame. I cant express how great this poem is.
Excellent work. Im going to check out some more of your work.
Keep it up!
Rebeccax
xThatxBoyxIsxBeautifulx ( F P C D )
at 2007-05-06
All eyes are on
Him,
as the two walk down the hallway.
(Do they know?)
(Will they tell?)
^This part just doesn't seem to fit in with the rest of the poem. It confused me.
The poem was hard to catch on. But as I got to the end it made more sense to me. Well done! Very powerful. Very long too.
God Bless 5/5
<3tay(^_^)
3/6
Silver J ( F P C D )
at 2007-05-08
Yeah you're right that one is better.
It was very emotionally touching. The repetition of "She loved him in
Confidence.
He loved her in
Betrayal" and the slight variations worked quite well actually.
I've recently had a fall out with my other half where he failed to answer the phone for days on end and when he did he informed me we won't be getting married as planned :( so I guess I can relate to this.
When you say
"He
is
a
Lie"
shouldn't it be "liar" to be gramatically correct?
Thanks for sharing.
Nicolle
at 2007-05-15
That was a really great poem and makes so much sense to someone that has been cheated on. You've portrayed it perfectly. Well done
Robert ( F P C D )
at 2007-05-17
I have read through this long poem, something I dont do too often. OK lets grind the axe. The flow was good and the message was good. However the story line having both the boy and girl interact and setting the poem so that you understand both at one time was just abusolutly GREAT!!!!!! The work was brillant and the way you tied it into a story was done so very well. Plot121 second poem
♥shyann♥ ( F P C )
at 2007-05-21
Wow excellent poem!!! i exspecially liked the last lines
"She loved him in
Confidence.
He loved her in
Betrayal.
She will not
forgive
him.
He will not
forget
her.
very deep and heartfelt ....keep up the good work ....you obviously have talent!!! 5/5
Sabree
at 2007-06-25
Tears form beneath these eyes of mine...not daring to show yet so easily detected. This poem reminds me of all my past relationships, every male and female i have dated has cheated and lied. Said not what they mean...but what they wish to mean. Such pain and agony you have made me relive...yet the poem soothes my soul just the same. You have an effect on your readers like no other poet out there in this strange world. You are a remarkable poet and i am unsure of what all i can say. This one has a different form, that is unique, yet it works for the poem. The grammar and punctuation may not always be the best...but it works. It is those little messups that sometimes gives poetry the life that it has. I truly feel that you are going to make it...you are the next Lord Byron is my guess. I cannot say much more...for tears my spring from these agonized eyes. Keep up the good work. 5/5...more if i was aloud. THis is my favorite yet!
-Sabree
xXxBrOkEnAnGeLxXx ( F )
at 2007-07-16
I realli like this one.
i love the way its written its great.
well done keep it up hun
x
Viola x LaughLoveLive x ( F P C D )
at 2008-01-02
Amazing! I love how you tell a full story with each poem. It takes the reader on a journey through two people's lives. I LOVE IT! =] I really do though. I know a lot of people know this feeling all too well and can most definitely relate. It is an incredible piece.
I love the contrast you've build between what she feels and what he feels at the beggining. And how this is carried throughout the piece.
I also love your style- that free nature. How every line's a different length, same for every stanza. The irregularity actually makes it more interesting and more real for me. Because that way it seems like it just pourred out of you without too much fixing up or anything.
This poem touches me. It is so well written. Keep it up! =]
--Viola
stupid girl ( F P C D )
at 2008-04-01
You wrote that so well!
I kno that exact feeling i have been through it twice!
lovin your poems more and more!
xo
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