Comments - Would you just listen?

DavidBrendan ( C ) at 2007-06-04

Would you just listen and please don't say a word, not ever,
I'd like you to remember that once upon a time, we said forever,

Favorite lines in that..the poem easily works with a lot of people's situations and it flows nicely. You use simple words but you make them fit well to fit a more complex situation. Really good job, 5/5

XXEmmaXX ( F P C ) at 2007-06-04

Great poem! I could see how you where feeling through every part. I could tell how strongly you felt about everything that was happening. The last stanza was what left me thinking. I had this whole story in my head. He thought you did something to mess up the relationship, and you wanted it to go back to normal, but he was to upset by it, typical break up. Though the line

"But please don't speak, remember that I never ever lied,"
Seemed a bit out of place and I think you could replace "never ever" with something more like "Never once" never ever sounds childish.

Good poem! 5/5

Michael D Nalley ( F P C D ) at 2007-06-04

Ouce again the rhythm and rhyme was perfect, and the passion flowed freely from your heart

Tammie ( F P C D ) at 2007-06-05

Ah wow. This is excellent. I can relate to this so much, and I can really feel your pain in this. The flow is absolutely perfect, it made this such an enjoyable read. The rhyming worked so well, and basic vocab was used but it was all that was needed to make this piece as good as it is. Well done. =] 5/5

Tammie

xxHe is mY LiFexx ( F C D ) at 2007-06-05

Wow!..this one is beautifully penned....it flowed very well and the rhyme scheme followed was beautiful...and most of the lines held strong emotions which were well framed through out the work..the use of simple sords fitted in very well in this write!
Kp up the good job!
xxPoojaxx

Karl Wild AKA GodsGift ( F P C D ) at 2007-06-05

The emotion you express in your work is so real, I can feel the love and pain in each and every line. I have also went through relationships like this, and although they end bad and your heart gets broken, it's experience for the future. We should never regret our past mistakes, if we're smart we'll use them in our next relationship to try and ensure the same things don't happen. Fantastic as always - What else 5/5

Anonymous Angel ( F P C D ) at 2007-06-05

Hey,
wow, awesome...I felt the emotion in every stanza, its very real and I think that many can relate to it. Thankfully not me..I like you choice of words and the rhyming was very good as wel as the flow, dont change anything its perfect! 5/5
kisses stephanie

debbylyn ( F P C D ) at 2007-06-07

How beautifully sad....love the ending verse......

Would you just listen and please don't say a word, not ever,
I'd like you to remember that once upon a time, we said forever,
That I had hopes and dreams, that I was the one who threw them away,
And this is something I will always regret until my dying day.

Heartbreak breathes from these lines.....

~*I Found It All In Him*~ ( F P C ) at 2007-06-09

Wow..this poem is sad but absolutely amazing. Great job at writing it. I know how it feels.. This is just...WOW!! I can't think of how to explain how much I liked it.5/5 definately
Crystal

SlaveToTheMusic ( F P C D ) at 2007-06-10

The emotions of agony were portrayed amazingly in this peice. It was really touching and capturing. This was an expressive piece which im sure it was heartfelt by not just me everyone else who read it. Well done on a beautifully sad piece of poetry~mel

xBlackRosex at 2007-06-10

This poem almost made me cry. i really relate to this poem.
i really liked my now ex bf, and i would almost call it love..but now it has ended,and my friends are all i have, this is really kool how i make everythin rhyme.. ii wonder if i could this, all of the time.. :Pwell obviously i can, when i write my poems, but still its very cool, when im only doing this for comments...

Doodi at 2007-06-10

Awwwwwwwwwwwch
u hit me with every word u wrote
damn its really gd
added to ma favs!!

Poetess Call Me Glen-Duh! ( F C D ) at 2007-06-10

That last stanza was an amazing one, the whole poem itself was a great write. Heartfelt and sad. And I can relate to it more than you know, (even with the names...heh). Anyways, I loved it!! Never stop writing. 5/5

` Liz =]

scarlett at 2007-06-10

At first glance i saw the poem's tittle and thought it would probably not be so good... but i read anyways just incase. To my surprice, i found it to be and excellent poem.

5/5

Scarlett

MissAlyssaGraff ( F P C ) at 2007-06-11

Omg i love the first stanza. And the poem overall was awesome.

A M B E R R ( F P C D ) at 2007-06-11

Wow. This took my breath away! This poem was beautiful!

Would you just listen and please don't say a word, not ever,
I'd like you to remember that once upon a time, we said forever,
That I had hopes and dreams, that I was the one who threw them away,
And this is something I will always regret until my dying day.

This stanza is beautiful. I love your choice of words and the way your ryhming flowed perfectly!

_-Amber-_

Jess ( P C ) at 2007-06-11

Omg i love this poem!! i can see exactly how u feel, and even the tone, makes the reader feel sad, but yet theres nothing anyone can do! xx

Dora ( F C ) at 2007-06-11

Hey this wasreally good!! very well worded. lot of emotion coming through in this poem. keep em coming. xx

heather ( C ) at 2007-06-11

I really liked it alot

NyellMoonlight ( F P C D ) at 2007-07-07

You write superb love poetry, and this one is not an exception: The whole piece is so deep and beautifully written, so sad at the moments.
My favorite lines are:
-Would you just listen and please don't say a word, not ever,
I'd like you to remember that once upon a time, we said forever,-
^so simply written, yet so powerful
5/5, great work