Comments

Andrea Sunny ( F P C D ) at 2007-12-19

I have to say the wording and message is very delightful....full of powerful inner emotions....You have a special and unique way of tossing a loving reality with saucy flavor....just a joy to read from you Pantso...

TrUtH hUrTs ( F C D ) at 2007-12-21

Heyy.. finally reading something which is a mix of pep and philosophy .. i like ur wicked sense of humour.. but there is a lot of emotion at the heart of it.. and i thoroughly enjoyed the title.. :)

Alexis ( F P C D ) at 2007-12-26

The way you word your poems is just simply amazing. I could never put all the descriptions like you have. The vocab too, was very nice. the flow and rhythm was lovely, once again. keep up the fantastic work :] 5/5
-Lexi

mOnStRiToS pRiNcEsS ( F P C D ) at 2007-12-27

This was greatly written, although I think the opening line was missing a word. I don't know if it is, but it seems like it. It's still very well written and the words were just amazing.

<mOnStRiTo'S pRiNcEsS>

Tim Fleckney ( F C D ) at 2008-02-08

That is quite possibly the best title I have ever seen for a poem and the to follow it up with that amazing piece of work I loved it you have a wicked sence of humor and a tender heart hang onto both and I will be back to read more.
tim

sibyllene ( F P C D ) at 2008-03-24

Brittness! Maybe I just haven't read your poems in a while, but this seems like such a different style... it's a big move away from form poetry and such... I really quite enjoyed it, though. I think I'd have to read it a couple more times to get more of the understanding, but even at a first read-through it was deep and interesting. Instead of just stating the obvious, you evoked it. You used a series of thoughts and sensations to build your meaning from the ground up, and I think that really brought the poem to a more refined level. It's obvious that you are conscious and careful with the words you choose, and it feels like you also got a nice dose of inspiration for this poem : ). Well done.

xPinkDizzyTeacupx ( F P C D ) at 2008-03-27

"So you to pretend whistle like no one else could ever whistle, and
You somehow sweep yourself off of your own two slippery feet"

^^ Oh wow. Such a beautiful opening, that immediately hooks the reader into the poem. I adore these opening lines, so beautifully written and filled with such intense imagery that I can picture this most vividly in my head.

"How amazing it is, we once imagined we're the lucky two
Didn't we almost have it all, grazing our salty fingertips
Seduction pulled us over in the fast lane, and before we knew it"

^^ Again...wow. This is amazing, god I love your imaination and these lines come together so well, I feel that these three lines are the ones that make your opening so strong.

"Laughing ourselves into a blissful hysteria only we understand"

^^ Favourite line so far. Now, I'm not sure I've interpretated this in the way you were aiming for, but to me this line speaks of unconditional love, of the way two people in love act when together, all the "in" jokes and all the sercets of the other person only two people truly in love could fully understand.

"Selfishly selfish, we wrap ourselves in that southern comfort
Sharing the ideas between sweetly mumbled conversations
Funny how the mixtures of our eyes bled so innocently together
And walking backwards is the only thing we've come to truly learn"

^^ I love how the last line of the first stanza totally contradicts these lines for me.

"And walking backwards is the only thing we've come to truly learn"

^^ I find this line to be incredibly strong, to me it seems that those two lovers I spoke of earlier are caught together in a bad way yet have no desire to rectify things, to caught up in their own passion.

"So if we continue to lean on each other, the other cannot fall"

^^BEAUTIFUL! Oh my god, I love, love this line. This is stunning and breathtaking and produces such a wonderful and serene effect on me, like everything is okay in the world.

"Isn't it nice how the aroma of the air suddenly shifts now?
Imperfections bouncing back and forth, even the sand became dizzy"

^^ Your imagery in this is amazing, it's so vivid and detailed that it's like I can not only see, but hear and feel everything that you describe here.

"Release that painful sigh you've been holding onto for so long
There, now isn't that better, the softness can finally surround you "

^^ I find this closing to be bittersweet and incredibly moving and touching, a perfect way to end this piece.

I may be way of base with how I've interpretated this piece but hey, it's my imagination Lmao.

Seriosuly Brittles...this is beautiful.

Linda Leavers ( F P C D ) at 2008-03-28

That was absolutely gorgeous.

silhouette fairy ( F P C D ) at 2008-03-29

I love it, at first i wasn't understanding things but at the end everything came together...and i was reading tons of poems and i skipped over the title..that clearly helps telling me what the poem was about.
congrats in the contest. i really enjoyed this poem.

switchblade ( F P C D ) at 2008-04-07

Wow...that's all I can say.

Andrew ( F P C D ) at 2008-04-13

I really liked the title, thats well thought of, i realls draws one to know whats in store. The poem is really nice, i love your choice of words and the vocabulary. Great work keep it up

RippleSoul ( F P C D ) at 2008-04-29

Loved everything about it... your rock!!

bhaskaryya ( C ) at 2009-08-23

"So you to pretend whistle"?? Is that the intended syntax?