Comments - Much Too Late

a broken smile with a broken hea ( F P C D ) at 2008-10-02

Nice poem. has a lot of twists in it which keeps it interesting..i think it might flow a little better if you seperate it into two stanzas...
"tell me lies and call me names"
first stanza above and then start your second at
"But there's so much a girl can take"
other than that your poem has a nice flow to it.

**Ada**
*aBSwaBHiaPL*

Incomplete Riot ( F P C D ) at 2008-10-04

:O I love this. It's bittersweet and it's a 'in your face' kind of poem. You made the rhyme scheme work really well and the emotions blew my mind. Definitely my favorite poem of yours. (: Overall: 5/5


Take care,
Stephanie

tigerdan ( F C ) at 2008-11-03

That was very good! though some areas of the poem seemed a little choppy. I know that can be challenging at times, so I hope that I am not too critical when I say that.
I did however enjoy reading it. ;)

Nula ( F P C ) at 2008-11-03

Aww i so love this poem! =D

beautiful

xJenni Mariex ( F P C D ) at 2008-11-07

"Tell me lies and call me names
When you need I'm here to blame"

^^I love this, such a powerful and strong opening that I'm instantly hooked and can't wait to get into the reast of the poem.

"Ignore me during my times of need
Live your life the way you please
Drink until you cannot stand
Refuse to let me hold your hand
When I need you, don't be there
Just act as if you do not care"

^^ I don't even know what to say...I can relate so much to this at the moment...did you get inside my head? :D I'm seriously speechless with this part.

"Make those promises you cannot keep
Hide those secrets that haunt my sleep
Sneak around and "forget" to call
Cut me down and watch me fall
Make us seem like a big mistake
But there's only so much a girl can take"

^^ I love this part, simply because up until now it's all about loss, lies, games etc..but here you're showing that you're stronger, that you don't need him.

"You never thought I was good enough
You sure miss me now; But that's just tough
Before you did the things above
Should've known your life without my love
Now you'll spend your life trying to find
Everything that you've left behind
For once boy, you'll cry real tears
While you reminisce on the past two years"

Again I love this, because it's like saying you had your chance and you missed it, and I'm moving onto better things.

"But it's much too late to make things okay
Because it's in his arms I want to stay <3 "

^^ Such a beautiful closing. The fact that you've moved on, that you're over the pain, that you've found someone better. It shows courage and hope whereas the first part showed sadness and loss, and the transistion is powerful and makes for a powerful ending.

I love this piece. This is definitely in my favourites.

Marc Ortiz ( F P C D ) at 2008-11-08

It was an excellent poem. But I think it would be better if you put it into stanzas. Well, maybe its just me but I don't like 1 stanza poems.

Suggestion:
Because it's in his arms I want to stay
^ Put this in it's own stanza. In my opinion it adds impact to the readers.

Anyway I think it flowed very well. I'm guessing that you wrote this with your heart. Good job. I love poems that are written from the heart. Because in my opinion (poems that are written from the heart are always the best.)

Heartbroken And Outspoken ( F C D ) at 2008-11-23

Everything was amazing but maybe its just me but the second last line sorta sounded off. i dont really know what you should wrte but it seemed.... wrong somehow. anywho amazing poem. 4.8/5 ~KM~

DreamingOutLoud ( F C ) at 2008-11-29

Amazing` powerful ending.

emotional wreck ( F C D ) at 2009-02-26

I love this one i really know you how you feel ive been through that more than once you are letting out so much in this poem great, no excellent job 5/5!!!!

I love my Guy ( F P C D ) at 2009-04-29

I liked this. It reminds me of some of my older work. Very simple, but the emotions are still powerful and clear. I liked the easy flow of things, makes it easier to read and relate to. You have a gift for reading sweet poems like this. Keep it up. Shanik


<< < 1 2