Comments - The Luckiest Guy (part 2)

.ღ.sarah.ღ. ( F P C D ) at 2006-09-21

Wow, wonderful story, so heartbreaking and sad. I understand what you are going through at the moment. Beautiful write.

Letty....aka Letrice Hopkins ( F P C D ) at 2006-09-22

Awww....I actually need a tissue after
reading this. Your so amazing goran.
Is this truley how you feel? I wish I
could find someone with half of the
tenderness, and kindness that you
have. I think you are just wonderful
and I hope that everything that you
have your hopes set on come true.

Love
Letty

ScreenplayOfDesire ( F C D ) at 2006-09-22

I had to read the first part in order to get this.. Lol. It was very well written. I loved the flow and emotion. Nice work, truly.

Natalie ღ ( F P C D ) at 2006-09-23

Wowee-- Goran! This was really good. Your flow was pretty good, and so was the rhyming. Nothing seemed forced to me. It was a beautiful poem. Keep it up!

Natalie``

Bhavingr8 ( F P C D ) at 2006-09-23

Hey this one's the best! You slit my heart! Truly one of the best. I wish I could bow in your honour.

¦●→sammycakes←●¦ ( F P C D ) at 2006-09-24

Aww. It's so sad. I'm so sorry if this is actually true, as I know how you feel.

The poem...I liked the flow, and the rhymes were very well done. I liked the whole idea of you (the unlucky one) writing to him (the lucky one) to say that you loved her and you being true about yourself. I liked the whole emotion of the poem. Keep it up. =) 5/5 xoxo

Samantha

Noni Wang© ( F P C D ) at 2006-09-24

Wonderful job. After the 4th stanza, the flow was great. Your starting stanza could be better by adding a word or two to certain lines.

Dear the luckiest guy in the world
It is me again, the hopeless guy.
Writing to you another note
But I really don't know exactly why

We both have something in common
The angel that we both love.
I am writing this to take out pain
Not to make your life anymore tough.

I was always dreaming and imagining
One day she will open her eyes
Then she'll realize how much I adore her
HOw One day I'll be a surprise

*Something like that *wink* Keep it up



goran ( F P C D ) at 2006-09-24

That is great, i will change it, tnx

Brianna ( F P C D ) at 2006-09-25

That is really good, if you keep going on and on with these they will go far.

KaKaKatlynn ( F P C D ) at 2006-09-26

Amazing job. Wow you are very talented && i love how you wrote this. to me it sounds like the Luckiest Guy could be you in your own dreams that you once had or are when you fall asleep who knows, only you && i say that everyone is the luckiest person in the world because everyone has to follow there dreams somehow or they can't get anywhere.

keep it up. keep on writing. love always && forever.

Sinister Soire ( F P C D ) at 2006-09-26

I kind of cant help but feel pity from reading this, i know the feeling intimatly(sp?) good writing however. a couple of the rhymes did seem somewhat forced though.

Sinister Soire ( F P C D ) at 2006-09-26

I kind of cant help but feel pity from reading this, i know the feeling intimatly(sp?) good writing however. a couple of the rhymes did seem somewhat forced though.

mrhope at 2006-09-27

Goran I feel bad about being far for while and i missed some of your great poetry.
this one is a nice one, as I feel like I can relate to every word of it. A guy took my girlfriend from me, and the sad part was he was my best friend once.
you are a strong man as you dealing with him with understanding and I like that as long as he is keeping her happy you do not want anythg else. this says alot about your personality.
I must admit, this is one of the few great poems that I ever read in my life.
great job dude

goran ( F P C D ) at 2006-09-27

Oh sorry for that, I know how you feel now.
It is so sad when a friend backstub you. I know how it feels.

You`re my EVERYTHING♥ ( F P C D ) at 2006-09-29

Awwww again another good one. this actually made me want to cry =[. i can relate to it alot. excellent job writing it. 5/5

*Beautiful*Angel* ( F C D ) at 2006-09-30

Very sweet
very well written
good job

jennifer ( C ) at 2006-10-07

Ok so i read part 1 && 2 && i think the poem is amazing. u have talent && ur a really really really good writer. i hope u write more poems & im sry that ur goin through this buh i love ur poems xoxo -jennifer

X2892 ( F P C D ) at 2006-10-10

Still good 5/5

Dumpstead ( C D ) at 2006-10-11

Nice one; I think this is better then the Part 1.

You have good concepts or vision I could say. Your love poems are not just like the standard peoms that speak of relationships. You have a depth of expression.I have read all four poems in this series and the way you have built up the series is good.

Now coming to what I did not like, I think you should pay a little more attention to the structure of the poem, especially since I see that you have written so may poems already, I feel it is high time since you paid more attention to structure

In this particular poem, in the stanza

You grew up in a land
Which was full of brightness
Me, since my childhood
Got use to this darkness

I think the lat line "Got use to this darkness" should be rephrased as it spoils the flow of the stanza. "Got used to darkness" would sound better.

And in the first two poems of this series, the stanza in which you address the "luckiest guy" seems a bit out of flow, however it was very well put out in the last poem "I am the luckiest guy"



Emma Brown ( F C ) at 2006-10-13

Brilliant end to a brilliant poem 5/5 loved it =) xxx


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