Comments - Sweet Love's Deceit

Genna ( F C ) at 2007-07-05

Only one word: Brilliant!

debbylyn ( F P C D ) at 2007-07-05

Nicely constructed with good rhyme and flow. I really enjoyed the internal rhyming...difficult to pull off sometimes, but you did it efortlessly without seeming forced....nicely done....all the best, Debbie

Sweet Fragility ( F C D ) at 2007-07-05

Gosh, i could hardly choose my fave part. It was all so talently written. The rhyming was so wonderful and not forced. Beautiful poem you have written here. Keep up the good job!

After all the broken hearts, we'll one day find,
Through all our questions, true love is blind,
Though a million things could knock us off our feet,
Always remain discreet, for sweet, love's deceit.

My fave stanza ^^

Empress Jane ( F P C D ) at 2007-07-06

One of the best poems you have written, and definitely one of the best poems I have read on this site. When I think you're running out of ideas, you surprise me with such a beautiful piece of work. I love all the rhymes, and not a word was forced. You put my writing to shame. Maybe I should start spending more time on each poem. You've inspired me...in my pants.

X to the fukin O FOREVER

Ha.

Empress Jane ( F P C D ) at 2007-07-06

Yep, it's poems like this that make me want to kiss you.

Tigger at 2007-07-06

I loved it ...5/5

Fsams ( F P C D ) at 2007-07-07

Thi s is really a superb poem from you. I has no flow problems and no fumblings. Its great and 5/5 all the way

Could you open the door, to love once more?
Or would you recall before, accept to ignore?

Fav lines with nice meaning

TheFireInMyEyes ( F C D ) at 2007-07-09

This is a great piece. The rhyming is perfect, hence the flow. Nothing I would change. Wonderful read! 5/5

marcella

tinna ( F C ) at 2007-07-09

Once again my karl i dont think u need more praise from me, sometimes it seems like there isnt anything u cant succeed in? some ppl are just bore with greatness thrust upon them, and some of us are placed there to acknowledge u and praise u..
after all the things that has been said and done between us, u still are..

Teria ( F P C D ) at 2007-07-09

"Or would you lick your wounds, accept defeat?"
^^ Might have been better with ' and accept defeat'. But, it does go with the poem and such.

I love the poem.
Completely. All the way.
It's amazing, like seriously truthful and worded perfectly.

"After all the broken hearts, we'll one day find,
Through all our questions, true love is blind,
Though a million things could knock us off our feet,
Always remain discreet, for sweet, love's deceit. "
^^^Best part.
I love when people end poems strongly, and you did. Really really strong.

Keep up the great work, dear.
5/5

Andrew Morton ( F P C D ) at 2007-07-10

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dude..normally I'd try to post on ways of improving but I can't touch this...immaculate work here...wow

"Could you open the door, to love once more?
Or would you recall before, accept to ignore?"

Excellent rhyming scheme..and you stuck to the flow throughout the entire thing, top notch work!

Christopher ( F C ) at 2007-07-10

Karl you write very very well. I am truely impressed with all your work. I am amazed... truely.

Krys ( F P C D ) at 2007-07-10

Beautiful job. truly a work of poetic art. i loved it. each word went together perfectly with the other. the rhyme was lovley. please keep writing. your very talented. and you truly do have "mad skills with a pencil"

nikki ( F C D ) at 2007-07-10

After all the tears you've cried, the broken pride,
Through all the times they've lied, the pain inside,

amazing lines, the way you capture the idea and describe it in your words is just great, the rhyming was perfect, and i cannot find anything wrong with it, 5/5

Marc Ortiz ( F P C D ) at 2007-07-10

Dude, that was simply amazing.. I think it was perfect.. The flow, choice of words, vocab.. Everything! And oh.. I love the title.

After all the dreadful name's, childish games,
Through all the picture frames, faded flames,
^^ I really like those two lines.

5/5 all the way!

d minor at 2007-07-10

I agree with with Sweet Fragility, this poem is very powerful. Did yo changed the inward rhyme for effect of ws it accidental, or idd you even mean to rhyme at all, I find myself developing ryme scheme accidentally.

Jenie ( F P C ) at 2007-07-11

Wow! u r an excellent writter!! alotta talent

thank u so much for my comment

Jenie<33

xbeyond helpx ( F P C D ) at 2007-07-11

Great rythm and flow. wonderful title. and i also liked it how you added rhetorical questions. always helps me reflect. i don't know if you noticed this but the last word on the last line of each stanza is a D word except for stanza four. i can't help but feel it would be awesome if instead of ignore it was a D word. but the word ignore still goes well. i guess i just get fussy lol sorry. well done
xoxo

AMORyPAZ ( F P C ) at 2007-07-11

A beautiful piece of poetry
is love only a illusion or something real?
5/5!

HUGIYDAWY ( F C ) at 2007-07-12

Wow.
the first two lines really got me interested!!
wow.
this is amazing
i love how it is written
i love the rythm it has and the meaning in it
much love .xx


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