Comments - Ending Her Cries

maryann at 2008-09-05

Im not sure if i commented u on dis poem b4 coz im sure ive read it a few times lol but if i avnt then

I LOVE ITTTTT

angelove at 2008-09-12

I liked it but i know some people like to copy and paste ; say it there own but when you right something or sing something just know you brought your self into the world is enough with me and may be wright something better we all want to feel like we blong here don't you think?

Rhiannon at 2008-09-14

This is amazing.
you have an amazing gift.
i love it

JoyAnn at 2008-10-06

You captured two very different emotions within the same few words, and its really really amazing how it all pieced together-

great job (: 5/5

Composed Catastrophe ( F P C D ) at 2008-10-11

I looked into her eyes
I got lost in their depth
A glance into the future
Revealing the secrets she kept
^^i wondered what this girl was to you a friend? sister? girlfriend? what? it was a great way to draw the reader in

For so many years she cared too
Yet we were both afraid to say
We avoided each other completely...
Every time, simply another day
^^now im thinking x's ? maybe. the mystery component really helps to keep me reading i love suspense : )

She cried to me one night.
~Please help, I don't know what to do~
I wrapped my arms around her body.
~It is okay now, I'm here with you~
^^what happened?! and how cute : ) you care about her that was a key part of the poem because you didn't kiss her. you held her thats care and compassion not lust which is way to common now adays

She told me about her boyfriend,
He cheated, and hurt her bad...
I told her not to worry...
But in the inside I was getting mad.
^^ jealousy. thats exactly what came to mind

I held back my anger...
And I comforted her instead.
Playing with her hair,
She lay still on my bed.
^^i got the cutest picture in my head of this : ) so many girls wish for a guy to care about them in this way

I leaned over to kiss her cheek,
She smiled and turned to me.
~Thank you for being there...
I Have finally learned to see~
^^ another sign of respect here! you did a great job with word choice as well

With that she drifted off,
I left her quietly sleeping.
~How could anyone want to hurt her? ~
I ran through thoughts, my heart leaping.
^^ the last line really got to me i loved the description you used it help my attention

I met up with her boyfriend,
Swung out of pure love and rage.
A knife stabbed through my stomach..
~God where were you today?~
^^ twist in the story it was so sudden it took me a second to believe it great emotion at the end as well

My head smacking onto the pavement,
My breath getting thin...
My vision blurred and fading slowly...
This was a battle I could never win.
^^ the last line indicates that you never expected to win the fight but felt the fight still needed to happen i love poems that are deeper than the typed words on the page

As this darkness consumes me...
Light fills my eyes...
I am proud to have lost my life,
If it meant ending her cries...
^^ so sad yet you just want to smile!
ironic way to word the poem i loved it though you did an amazing job! : )5/5

christine ( C ) at 2008-10-15

OMG!.. lol all i have to say..

Sofie at 2008-12-30

Jesus christ! That was really amazing, i almost started crying. And im not very emotional. Keep up the good work, I would like to read more of your work.

De Vega at 2008-12-31

"As this darkness consumes me...
Light fills my eyes...
I am proud to have lost my life,
If it meant ending her cries..."???

i didnt get dat... ending her cries which is not him the problem why shes crying

ToRn iiN2 PeIcEs ( F C ) at 2009-01-18

Awww this is so freakin sad
i reallly like it :)

Goob ( F P C D ) at 2010-04-03

I am new to this site, but I just wanted to let you know that this poem was amazing!! I love poems that tell a story, and it was awesome!! :)

ganjaru ( F C D ) at 2010-07-26

Wow!

Salvatore at 2010-11-05

I only wish I could write something as meaningful as this.

Emilio ( F P C D ) at 2011-05-06

A beautiful poem. Sad with emotions. I love it. Its amazing, even if there were grammatical errors, I still would have been overcome by your brilliance.

Thank you.

Kelsey at 2011-06-03

This made me cry that is so sad, but beautifully written. I love this. Good job!

Emptyness ( F C D ) at 2011-08-29

I love it! Its absolutely amazing. I don't have enough words to express how i feel about it. I just love it!

Nicole ( P ) at 2011-09-02

That was really touching. I cried. Your amazing. c:

Danielle Love ( F P C D ) at 2011-09-21

Wow.. this brought chills :) it was amazing

Dark Love at 2011-10-16

*Clapping* I loved this so much. I wish that there was a rating higher thana 5 cuz you really deserve more than that. This is the best peice that I've read in a while. I 't made me cry, it made me smile. I wasnt sure about how it made me feel, just a wave of emotions all tangled together. Well written, inspirational and heart warming. You really are such a talented writier. Continue writing, and if anyone tells you that you're a bad writer, they are either lying to you or have no taste in written art.

Gloria elizondo at 2011-11-20

I love this poem it made me cry:)

PhadaOfficial at 2011-11-24

Visit www.phadaofficial.blogspot.com for variety of exceptional poems


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