I've Just Got To Let You Go

by Hollymariee

I close my eyes
And dream about
The way we used to be .
You caressing ;
And me confessing
Just what you mean to me .

Your gorgeous smile
And light blue eyes ;
Your soft touch upon my skin .
My body's shaking ,
You're so breath-taking ;
By far my sweetest sin .

Your silly laughter
And heart-felt kisses ;
They both just drive me wild .
My heart's been healing ,
You've got me feeling
Defenseless like a child .

But mistakes are made
And my eyes are opened ;
Only to find you gone .
The tears are faught ,
And my heart is taught
Once again that it was wrong .

Those eyes and smile ,
Are now so awkward ;
Strangers I no longer know .
I'm slowly learning ,
That you're not returning ...
I've just got to let you go .

 

Submission date : 2008-11-27

Visits : 7003
Votes : 34
Rating : 4.9

Latest comments

I love my Guy ( F P C D ) at 2009-04-29

Wow. I think this one was my favorite. I loved everything about this one. The imagery is amazing. I love the style as well. This one really covers alot about relationships..with real original emotions. You should write more like this. This one is one of your best..no doubt. Shanik

Marc Ortiz ( F P C D ) at 2009-07-16

Well I like the other poem better but this one is also great.

The poem has short lines which gives off a fast action 'pace.' which tells the reader that you were thinking a lot of 'things' in the moment you were writing this piece.

Throughout the poem the tone was pretty fast but then the tone suddenly shift in this line.
"That you're not returning (...)"
- The sudden 'shift' shows that you're done thinking about the past and ready to let him go.
- I also think that this line was an excellent set up for the final line.

I've just got to let you go (.)
- Well suggestion - change that to (...) Well it's up to you of course. In my opinion it will give a greater impact on the last line.

keep up the good work.

i love you ( F P C D ) at 2009-12-11

Wow this is absolutely amazing! i love it and know exactly how you feel! you really know how to use words..don't ever quit! :)

i love you ( F P C D ) at 2009-12-11

Wow this is absolutely amazing! i love it and know exactly how you feel! you really know how to use words..don't ever quit! :)

Rocky ( F C D ) at 2009-12-13

I like how you didnt limit this poem to four line stanzas and a simple rhyme scheme. i just find poems like that too generic and boring. it was quite a good poem with some good imagery and emotions in it



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