Embers Burn

by Twisted Heart

As sorrow drifts among my dreams
And night fades in to gray
I see the passion in the eyes
Of love that went away
Into the mist of broken hearts
Are souls left in decay
Along the edge of sanity
True heartache seems to play

All embers burn against the mind
As beats in hearts are lost
A second timed inside the soul
Thoughts in the wind are tossed
Now hope has found no refuge here
And pain has caused a frost
So deep the cold within ourselves
A trust is what it cost

A flicker of a firelight
That burnt so long ago
Now holds the arms of emptiness
Inside its wanton glow
How true the heart has failed this time
And crumbles deep the soul
As embers die inside the mind
There's answers left to know

Burn love of life within the heart
As steady sees the night
The fire faint, the embers burnt
Then dashed the faded light
And though you try to gain again
You try with all your might
Without the faith of constant time
There dies the will to fight

So thus in tears, you shroud yourself
As truth hides in disgrace
No time to hold on to the thoughts
For lies are what you face
Your will is bent beyond repair
Now heartache's found its place
Among the embers of the burn
Within true pain's embrace

 

Submission date : 2009-07-06

Visits : 2847
Votes : 10
Rating : 5.0

Latest comments

Directly Implied ( F P C D ) at 2009-07-16

First congrats on the win and after reading I don't think the judges had much of a choice this was really well written. It held the readers attention great flow and very enjoyable

Sydney ( F ) at 2009-07-16

This is one of the most beautiful poems I've ever read on this website. I can just feel the emotions and pain that this poem is expressing. Excellent job!!! 5/5

Mer Divinity ( F C D ) at 2009-07-17

All I can say is WOW!

Prolife And Proud ( F P C D ) at 2009-07-27

"As sorrow drifts among my dreams
And night fades in to gray
I see the passion in the eyes
Of love that went away
Into the mist of broken hearts
Are souls left in decay
Along the edge of sanity
True heartache seems to play"

Excellent flow and rhyming here, this automatically caught my interest and held it there. I love your vivid imagery and the emotions pouring throughout each line.


"All embers burn against the mind
As beats in hearts are lost
A second timed inside the soul
Thoughts in the wind are tossed
Now hope has found no refuge here
And pain has caused a frost
So deep the cold within ourselves
A trust is what it cost"

Beautiful job, you express the pain and sorrow so clearly and bring it to the reader too.


"A flicker of a firelight
That burnt so long ago
Now holds the arms of emptiness
Inside its wanton glow
How true the heart has failed this time
And crumbles deep the soul
As embers die inside the mind
There's answers left to know"

This probably had to be my favorite stanza. First of all, I loved "flicker of a firelight" and how you say it now holds "the arms of emptiness". Very uniquely worded and that is what really strikes the reader. Well-penned.


"Burn love of life within the heart
As steady sees the night
The fire faint, the embers burnt
Then dashed the faded light
And though you try to gain again
You try with all your might
Without the faith of constant time
There dies the will to fight"

How heartbreaking and sad this is, you keep the reader into this poem and have a consistent flow and rhyming. Nice work!


"So thus in tears, you shroud yourself
As truth hides in disgrace
No time to hold on to the thoughts
For lies are what you face
Your will is bent beyond repair
Now heartache's found its place
Among the embers of the burn
Within true pain's embrace"

A powerful ending, your word choice here stood out and amazed me. Excellent job, well worth the win. So congratulations! I am very sorry for the late comment, you did a wonderful job.

5/5 from me, take care and God bless!

~MaryAnne

a nife called lust ( F P D ) at 2011-09-18

Wow 5/5 you are a verry good wrighter.



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