Definitely, Maybe

by Poetess Lana

Why would you treat me like everything is going perfectly...
just to push me away again?
You build me up to knock me down and make me believe it's my fault.
I am always the one to apologize, or make you believe you have no
reason to say you're sorry.

Please, please just leave me alone.
That's all I ask of you. I can't take any more of our
back and forth struggle, you make me feel unwanted,
You act like you only want me around for one thing
It's not love, so please don't say those three words out loud...

I know the truth, it's the lust that keeps you coming back for more
Making me want you for hating myself,
making me hate you for wanting you more

I can't take the lies, the pain...
But whenever you ask I say "I'm OK"

I need to tell you:

Being around you drives me crazy, but not in the same way it used to
Seeing you smile at me makes me smile, because I'm glad you're happy
(but that's the only reason)
The butterflies that used to be there don't come around anymore
You used to make me nervous, make me want you
Now I just care enough to still try to make you happy
even though it's killing me to do so

I know what you want from me,
but I can't give you that anymore, it doesn't feel right
and I don't want you to cause me any more pain...

I don't love you.

Definitely. Maybe.