Secrets

by LapisLazuli

These secrets I have are secrets untold.
For years, I kept them close.
I kept them secluded inside a box,
with no fissures, unreachable by your light.
But instead, they wound me.
Every night, when I retire for the day,
I feel their beating.
Slow yet harrowing strokes against my heart's bulwark.
Even when I am most awake,
they drift into my thoughts and scramble them.
Now I am left with bruises,
the aftermath of a heavy beating;
the consequence of hesitation.

 

Submission date : 2016-09-21
Last edit : 2016-09-23

Visits : 801
Votes : 2
Rating : 4.5

Latest comments

ether ( F P C D ) at 2016-09-21

Now I like this one even more.

I'm not usually one for lighthearted love poetry, I like ones that highlight the uncertainty of new love. And this does it beautifully without coming across as too solemn. The initial stages of getting to know someone on that deeper level are both exciting and terrifying as we try to navigate how much we should tell them about our inner workings, and when is the appropriate time to do so.

Your structure, punctuation, vocabulary, flow; everything in this is beautiful.
"The consequence of hesitation" - such a powerful ending and a very thought provoking sequence of words.

I love this so much I'm nominating it for the weekly contest. So it goes without saying, 5/5.

LapisLazuli at 2016-09-22

Thank you so much, Ether, for sharing your thoughts! I really appreciate your words knowing that my work is relevant to the readers!

Also, I always believed that a weeping heart is conjures greater emotions.