As Heaven Walks Here on Earth (Stringed Rhy, Rev Haynaku )

by Naughtymouse

Please read aloud
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~






We've waited to
end all
scorn.

Our lights burn
brightly now
reborn.

Past futures fade
in their
sorrow.

Forgiven now for
a better
tomorrow.

She see's only
good in
me.

Bathing my scars
in passionate
seas.

In return i'll
cleanse hers
too.

Forever turn her
grey skies
blue.

We've awaited so
long for
this.

And now we
reap eternal
bliss.

Now's the time
for our
rebirth.

As Heaven walks
here on
Earth.

 

Submission date : 2016-12-28

Visits : 304
Votes : 5
Rating : 5.0

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Latest comments

Brenda ( F P C D ) at 2016-12-28

Just beautiful, that's all I got...

Golden AnGel Rhapsodist ( F P C D ) at 2016-12-29

Ben,

This is what you call talent. . you write not only with your mind , you also write with your heart. .. well done to this and to all of your poetry. .. I'm a fan. .

Lovely penned,
Gel

Mr Darcy ( F P C D ) at 2016-12-29

Hello Ben,

I love the visual of this stringed piece. I must admit to not knowing much about this form. A link as reference would be useful.

Like Gel says, I am too, 'a fan'

My favourite part:

"Bathing my scars
in passionate
seas."


Take care,

Michael

Naughtymouse ( F P C D ) at 2016-12-29

Thank you for your time and comments guys always really appreciated!!

Em ( F P C D ) at 2016-12-29

Ben here so yet another graceful and unique piece by you. I, like Michael, am not clued up about this form or these forms bit I must say I like this piece alot for many reasons. At first, didnt read it aloud as I didnt see the not to say read it aloud lol then I went back up to read again and saw so read aloud and I have to say reading it aloud gives that extra something to the piece which is why I assume you left that note unless it's something to so with the form I'm not sure.

1/2 I like this opening as it shows that you and your partner have had bad pasts and been hurt but now that you have found each other your love flames (I feel) are burning brightly because you love each other dearly and have never felt like this about anyone.

3/4 This leads on nicely from the first two stanzas or statements because as I said it shows you have had bad pasts and that now you have found each other you're letting the past go and forgiving the people who have hurt you to live for the better tomorrows you have no doubt promised each other.

5/6 This is absolutely beautiful and shows an honest, true love because even though you have your flaws she sees past them and loves you anyway which id what love should be about and she tries to heal your scars by bathing them in seas full of love.. The imagery here is beautiful.

7/8 No words here, just beautiful Ben.

9/10 All I could think here was "good things come to those that wait" and this shows you have been waiting and waiting and finally both got your 'good' thing well, I'd say more than good.

11/12 These are my faves I think because you are being reborn with a honest love and the end statement I think shows just how special your other half to is because I feel she is the heaven on earth.

What a beautiful piece, it gets a 10 from Em :)