Love Rains Down

by Darien

Love Rains Down

I frame her picture,
I took with my mind.
Hidden within my thoughts,
so no one else can find.

I see her from my window,
and can't help but think.
What if she were my girl?
My heart would sink.

Finally I get the courage,
to come out and talk.
I said it was a nice day,
and asked her for a walk.

She blushed and smiled,
and softly she said yes.
I breathe a sigh of relief,
as I relaxed my chest.

As we started talking,
clouds were turning gray.
The forecast on the radio,
called for a rainy day.

We run through the pouring rain,
laughing and holding hands.
At her door we took shelter,
silent is how it stands.

I look into her eyes,
as she stares back at mine.
Closer our heads did meet,
as our lips intertwined.

The rain has stopped,
as the sun peaks through.
A rainbow can be seen,
but baby I'm looking at you.

 

Submission date : 2006-03-04
Last edit : 2007-04-13

Visits : 10685
Votes : 152
Rating : 4.5

Latest comments

Chris ( F P C D ) at 2006-07-12

You have some of the greatest writings ive seen in a while
you word your poems so great they seem to be very true too, in the thoughts.

great job

5/5

God Bless


-chris

Nelle ( F P C D ) at 2006-07-20

Omg Darien. all of your love poems are just amazing! I would love to have a guy like you. you are great, and this one, this one was reallly really sweet and cute and full of love, and ahh i just absolutely loved it =) definetly 5/5

xDarkSuicidex ( F P C D ) at 2006-07-22

I see her from my window,
and can't help but think.
What if she were my girl?
My heart would sink.

I disliked this part. I'm not sure why, but I think you could have done better.

called for a rainy day.

I believe that should have been rain... maybe not.

And I -loved- the last three stanzas. They were strong, amazing, beautifully said, and wonderfully written. A great ending to a poem is the best thing for a poem. It saved your poem from being a lower rating, actually. =)

And I wanted to say again, you're an amazing writer. I appologize for the difficulties we've had. Perhaps we could make amends. Take Care.

xDarkSuicidex 5.5

X These Tears Fall Down Like Rai ( F P C D ) at 2006-07-24

Awwwww!!!!!!! This Was A Really Cute Poem!!! I Actually Think This One Is My Fav! Amazing!!!! 5/5 Love,
Steph

xDarkSuicidex ( F P C D ) at 2006-08-16

Awww that's so sweet.. and the ending was wonderful.. Simply a great job.

xDarkSuicidex 5.5



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