Comments - Wish It Was Real(lyrics)

Kaila ( F P C D ) at 2008-06-24

Very good. I sang my own little tune to it. You should add at the bottom if its like acoustic or upbeat. Otherwise I could totally see this as a song. I am a songwriter myself and this has potential. keep it up

Levi ( F P D ) at 2008-06-24

There's not much I can honestly say to change this piece... You wrote the lyrics well and the only thing I would watch out for is the syllables as they can sometimes take the flow out of the song...
but all in all it depends on how you word your words and at what points you tones change or you pause..

I don't know if that helped.. but I gave it a go lol

BrokenREALiTy ( F P C D ) at 2008-06-24

Lets take a walk down the road
The road i've been up and down
`repetition of down bothers me dearly, in both simply reading it and singing it. it just doesn't sound right.

I love your chorus -- it's so cute! I don't know what tune you sing it to since it's your own, but the way I sing the chorus ... I hear it absolutely stunningly.

Overall, since I can't really critique it, because a song is half lyrics and half tune -- I'd just say to watch for your syllabication, because sometimes, that CAN throw off the smoothness of the song. And I feel like you can do more with this. Like it's not mediocre, but it could be so much stronger.


The Jack of Hearts ( F C D ) at 2008-06-24

I love it. This is one of the best things i've read on here in a while. It flowed so well from begining to end, and It painted a great picture. I too wish for something like in this piece.

When I was reading it, I saw it was a mid paced rock/pop song. But that's jsut my opinion, obviously

great job

The Angel of Secrets ( F P C D ) at 2008-06-25

Okay, I probably sung this to myself in a complete different way than actually intended:P But I really liked it!

The Angel of Secrets

Leap Of Faith aka Temps ( F P C D ) at 2008-06-26

First thing I notice, is you fail to capitolize your I's.. Make sure to do so! =)

Wow. These were some pretty awesome lyrics. This is like a beautiful song. Wow. It's amazing. It's full of some awesome rhyming too.. It could be a perfect poem as well. I loveeed your chorus the most. That was perfect. Nice work. I could never do what you do, lyrics are not my thing and I don't think I could ever do it. =) Keep it up. 5/5.

Katlynn ( C D ) at 2008-06-26

This was a really cute love song id say. and it would be cute as a country one =] i really liked this one, yeah to bad you couldn't sing on here, that would be awesome ha.

keep it up.
keep on writing.
love always and forever.

TILLmyLASTtearFALLS ( F C ) at 2008-06-27

It really sounds like a great song, congrats!! What a pity we cant listen to it, though. Lots of emotion in it, it really caught my eye.
Keep it up!

" I open my eyes
To another day
When i wish i was asleep
Dreamin' the day away "
^^My favourite stanza.

Best wishes,


ash ( P ) at 2008-06-27

Love your song. i write songs 2 myself. not as good as what u did on here. plus i can't sang worth crap either.

Bella ( F P C ) at 2008-06-28

Nice one !! Loved the lyrics they are really good. And i could hear a tune for it in my head.
Good job.

Bassel Samman ( F P C D ) at 2008-06-28

I like it, the only thing is I wish it was longer. Made me feel like it had more to say.

Brandi at 2008-06-29

Omg if u wrote this ur really good.
see i write songs too...
just to let u no. :)
anyways, it was really good, and i love country,
and i also loved the lyrics to this song.

ALEX at 2008-06-30

I liiked it (:
what type of music are you making this for? i sang it a little bit (:

♥shyann♥ ( F P C ) at 2008-06-30


Ashley at 2008-07-02

This was amazing! u got a talent! dont stop writing-ur great! 5/5

Fsams ( F P C D ) at 2008-07-02

Dear I wish I could listen to u singing ur tune coz its gr8. I gues u mus b a gr8 singer as wel. Bravo this one's a 5.

Robin Moreno at 2008-07-04

Wow. I really like these lyrics. They portray sooo much emotion, but at the same is something everyone else can relate to! Great job! 5/5

shattered but not broken ( F C D ) at 2008-07-07

This is the kind of song you'd find a lot of people singing inside of their heads. if you're lucky, you can get a job as a song writer. you're really talented. i think your song would sound much better if you sang it the way it was supposed to be sung, because some of the words were a little bumpy, but they might sound better when sung by the writer. overall great job 5/5

Ash ( F P C ) at 2008-07-13

WOW! This is amazing! I mean you can get so many different beats to it but still it's just "WOW". Really I'm so speechless I cannot even comment on this poem.

It's perfect in every sense. Flow was good and you conveyed exactly what you felt. There was a good shift between sadness/ loneliness and love.

Simply a marvelous masterpiece! 100/5

Michael D Nalley ( F P C D ) at 2008-07-14

Very nice ryhthm and rhyme i would love to hear it sung

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