Comments - Together as One

yanieris at 2007-07-09

I really enjoyed reading dis poem really sweet. i liked the last stanza the most. 5/5

It was my death wish to see your smile..
My time is limited.. I'm going to die..
She said, "I will never leave your side.."
Together we will depart this world.. Never to be apart..

Forever our hearts will beat together as one.

Andrew Morton ( F P C D ) at 2007-07-10

Excellent concept behind it..its got the whole fairy tale story to it...great work

I asked her to wear this blindfold while we walk
I lead her into the hidden dark forest.
And when we got into the core of the place
I said, "Remove the scarf my beautiful mistress"

I think that stanza is flawless..the whole factor of surprise, and i love how you added the twist of a blindfold being a scarf..amazing work here...good job dude

CEE CEE ( P C D ) at 2007-07-10


Karl Wild AKA GodsGift ( F P C D ) at 2007-07-11

When we love somebody so much we always seem to want more and more love n omatter how much we get, no amount could ever satisfy us. Excelleny write 5/5 GG23

Kristina ( F P C D ) at 2007-07-12

Wow this was beautiful. such a great job you did on writing such an awesome poem. it was filled with emotion. 5/5


Birgit ( F P C D ) at 2007-07-12

I really love the beginning of it.. =) It's so cute and emotional. And then when you start the part: "Suddenly I cough.. And red blood sprayed in the place.
I said.. Sorry I didn't tell you before.. " etc. there is really a twist to the poem, but in a good way! =)
Anyway, nicely done. Keep it up.

gabriella ( F P C D ) at 2007-07-13

Oh wow, i loved the picture you made me with this poem , so sad yet so simply sweet and beautiful... the poem itself was amazing, yet also the story of the poem was gorgeous,,, i'm adding this to my favorites

iiTs Just Tayy ( F P C D ) at 2007-07-14

This poem is just incredible. The emotions once again the love just flowed beautifuly in the poem. I just don't know what else to say. God Bless 5/5

X2892 ( F P C D ) at 2007-07-14

Another excellent job that u have done, 5/5

JaMeS ( F P C D ) at 2007-07-15

Best ive read in a long time thats class mate really really beautiful :)

moonlil ( F P C ) at 2007-07-24

I love this poem. I almost cried. It's so beautiful.

Miu. ( F P C D ) at 2007-08-08

Very cute. You have a very romantic soul.
REally didn't see the end coming. You problebly could have worked on it more. Because it just came in out of nowhere and really messed it up for me :) But that is what i think.
Overall it was an amazing poem!
5/5 Keep it up!

Crystal Gaze ( F P C D ) at 2007-08-09

Im speechless Marc!
That was so beautiful, yet sad. So like... Life.
The ending was blunt and very unexpected, I was shocked.
This peice was very captivating.
Every word drenched in emotion's from the heart.
I absolutly loved it hun,
Keep it up.
Elaine. 5/5

Tricky Daze ( F P C D ) at 2007-08-11

It was like a real fairytale..I really lived this all up with your poem...You really did a great job

I especially liked;

And there right in front of her a piece of paper.
"My heart will always and forever belong to you"

So sweet and beatifully penned,

Cella Bella ( F C D ) at 2007-08-14

Amazing imagery, wonderful flow, great choice of words. Pretty spectacular love poem I do believe. In my eyes this is flawless. You could have spelt half the words wrong and I wouldn't have been able to notice. I was completely captivated from begining to end. 5/5!!


Catastrophic Beauty ( F P C D ) at 2007-08-14

Excellent poem. Very desciptive and sweet. From start to finish you kept me drawn in and the flow was flawless. I also liked how you credited those two poets at the end. 5/5

-Shannon <3

tears i cry ( F C D ) at 2007-08-14

BEAUTIFUL your poems make me think about love but they also make me think about the future you have a talent for poetry and you deffiantly need to keep writing so far 3 out of 3 poem with 5/5

aDORKable x3 ( F P C D ) at 2007-08-14

Marc, I am crying.; serious tears down my face. That was so beautiful, so amazing. I imagined the walk, the blindfold, the roses, the candles, everything. The images were so real and the words you used were so perfect. The ending both shocked and suprised me. It was so heart-renching! I was like, "WHOA, NOW WAY?!" Jeez... it was flawless!
5.5 is not a high enough rating!


xXxSara BethxXx ( F C D ) at 2007-08-15

Soo Sweet...
Great Job... =]]

InvisiblyBroken15 ( F P C D ) at 2007-08-15

Oh wow!!! this is amazing..i've never read anything quite like it... it just blew my mind...

honestly i love it...its so sweet and beautiful and i did not expect the its just such a wonderful poem...the flow is great and i love your word choice.... and i think im adding this poem to my favorites...really thats how much i like it... excellent job. 5/5 from me!

you're a great writer..keep it up.. i look forward to reading new poems from you.. anytime you post a new one pm me with the title and i'll happily read it.


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