A Deep Secret

by Tamon G

Talking to you is like trying to find the
corrects words for a crossword puzzle.
When I'm near you I can't speak, it's like
my mouth is covered with an invisible muzzle.

I'm so lost with words with you,
There are days when I ask myself
what am I suppose to do?
I'm like a child with words, them
being my feet.
I try to stand up and walk,
but you never see me fall,
I'm so discreet.

There are times when I'm so nervous
I forget my own name.
I just want to put my head
down cause I feel so ashamed.

There are times when I want to see you,
but I don't have the courage, or the determination.
So,
I sit down and close my eyes,
and let my mind describe what would have
happen with my imagination.

You have no idea how many countless nights
I have gone without sleep,
because of the imagine of you turning me down
makes my eyes weep.

Sometimes it feels like my words don't have
a voice,
like I have no speech.
You're that star in the sky I try to
grab, but my arms could never reach.

Lately you have been the words to
the pages in my book.
But the pages are blank,
every time I open to take a look.

I can see myself writing,
the words I can see.
But on the paper are just tears,
the tears are words that comes deep
from within me.

Theres times when I find myself
laying on my bed staring through my
window looking at the sky.
The thought of you dating someone
else makes me want to cry.

I'm like a heart with no body,
a body with no heart.
I'm a story with a bad ending,
but nobody knows how the story
starts.

I have tissues on top of tissues,
it's like these tears have no end.
If I can't have you for a lover,
it doesn't mean I can't love you
as a friend.